Today marks the start of a new period for the United States. Our first African-American president has been sworn into office. Not only is President Obama, our first African-American president but he is ushering in a new hope for America.
Jeff says not to shoot my hopes too high but I say, I'm going to shoot them high. Our new hope comes to us during a time of economical crisis and a seemingly endless war. He makes lofty promises. But he seems to be trying to make good on those promises.
I hope, as I'm sure that many of my fellow Americans are hoping, that President Obama brings us the needed change and turn around that this country so desperately needs. And I know that its not going to happen overnight. It took much more than 8 years to get our country to where it is today but I am putting my faith in President Obama to deliver us from our current crisis. God puts people in positions of power for reasons that we cannot understand. I am going to put my faith in my God that He has placed the right man in this position. A man who will work hard to deliver us from the current mess we find ourselves in.
So in honor of this historic day in our countries history I am making Obama's Chili. But I have altered the recipe somewhat to tailor it to what I had available in the house and what I happen to like in my chili.
So here is my version of Obama's Chili
1 Tbsp Olive Oil
1 medium onion diced
1 medium bell pepper chopped
2 stalks of celery diced
5 cloves of garlic minced
3/4lb of ground beef
1 Tbsp Chili Powder
1/4 tsp cumin
1/4 tsp oregano
1/4 tsp basil
1/2 tsp unsweetened cocoa powder
1 tsp onion powder
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp Lawrys Seasoned Salt
1 14.5oz can Hunts Fire Roasted Tomatoes with Garlic
1 14.5oz can crushed tomatoes
3 Tbsp of Red Wine Vinegar
Heat the olive oil in your stock pot on medium heat. Throw in the vegetable and cook until slightly browned
Add the ground beef and break up as you are cooking it (I use my Pampered Chef Mix 'n Chop for this. I heart my Pampered Chef Mix 'n Chop)
When the ground beef is just starting to brown add your spices
Let the mixture cook for about 2-3 minutes and add your tomatoes and vinegar.
Let cook on low heat for at least an hour to develop the flavor.
We are having this over baked potatoes but rice would be just as nice.
Oh and side note. Please please please don't forget to add the Red Wine Vinegar. I forgot to add it and I nearly kicked myself. The Red Wine Vinegar totally makes the dish. President Obama totally knows what he's doing when it comes to making a pot of chili!
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Monday, January 19, 2009
It's Been a Week
This last week has been interesting... With not going to work all week because of illness or just nothing for me to do and projectile vomiting small children to my increasing realization that I NEED happy pills, it's been a week.
With children who throw temper tantrums in stores (and I'm not talking about the almost 2 year old), it's been an interesting 7 days.
I have been making newborn hats (for a friend, not me, don't get any ideas) and burying myself in Bones reruns on Hulu. Thats my escapism. Going to the craft store and losing myself in yummy fabrics and daydreaming of all the projects I can make is also one of my loved forms of escapism...as long as I don't have screaming, pouty children with me.
Jeff officially told Kylie that she was no longer going to accompany me to stores unless I absolutely needed to go and I couldn't leave her with him. For the last couple of weeks, everytime I go into a store with her she throws a fit. Whether it's because I tell her that I'm not going to buy her anything or because I tell her that shes not allowed to hang off the handle on the shopping cart. Something will set her off and she will scream bloody murder in a store. Shes 5 so this is more embarrassing for me than when she was 3 and screaming in a store. When she was 3 people would excuse her and not throw me evil looks...all the time. Now shes 5 and she should be behaving better and not reacting this way to things so people tend to stare and look at me with judging faces. Then when we get home and she is punished for her outburst she tells me that I'm hurting her feelings. Oy Vay. Shes is really 5 going on 15. But the good news about this is, Jeff and I signed up for parenting classes through HeadStart last week. It's a free 16 week course for parents and their children. They teach the kids better behaviors while they are teaching the parents how to deal with the difficult behaviors. I am SO looking forward to this class.
On top of my rough week, a friend of mine lost a niece this weekend. My heart breaks for her family. Her sister-in-law tried for years to get pregnant. After a 7 year battle with infertility, they were finally blessed with a little girl. Unfortunately there were complications during delivery and the baby didn't make it. My heart just breaks for this family. I cried when I heard the news. So I know that compared to this incredible loss, my bad week is nothing.
But I just ask anyone who reads my blog, to pray for this family. Keep them in your prayers during this difficult time. Also please continue to pray for me and my family and we deal with our day to day.
With children who throw temper tantrums in stores (and I'm not talking about the almost 2 year old), it's been an interesting 7 days.
I have been making newborn hats (for a friend, not me, don't get any ideas) and burying myself in Bones reruns on Hulu. Thats my escapism. Going to the craft store and losing myself in yummy fabrics and daydreaming of all the projects I can make is also one of my loved forms of escapism...as long as I don't have screaming, pouty children with me.
Jeff officially told Kylie that she was no longer going to accompany me to stores unless I absolutely needed to go and I couldn't leave her with him. For the last couple of weeks, everytime I go into a store with her she throws a fit. Whether it's because I tell her that I'm not going to buy her anything or because I tell her that shes not allowed to hang off the handle on the shopping cart. Something will set her off and she will scream bloody murder in a store. Shes 5 so this is more embarrassing for me than when she was 3 and screaming in a store. When she was 3 people would excuse her and not throw me evil looks...all the time. Now shes 5 and she should be behaving better and not reacting this way to things so people tend to stare and look at me with judging faces. Then when we get home and she is punished for her outburst she tells me that I'm hurting her feelings. Oy Vay. Shes is really 5 going on 15. But the good news about this is, Jeff and I signed up for parenting classes through HeadStart last week. It's a free 16 week course for parents and their children. They teach the kids better behaviors while they are teaching the parents how to deal with the difficult behaviors. I am SO looking forward to this class.
On top of my rough week, a friend of mine lost a niece this weekend. My heart breaks for her family. Her sister-in-law tried for years to get pregnant. After a 7 year battle with infertility, they were finally blessed with a little girl. Unfortunately there were complications during delivery and the baby didn't make it. My heart just breaks for this family. I cried when I heard the news. So I know that compared to this incredible loss, my bad week is nothing.
But I just ask anyone who reads my blog, to pray for this family. Keep them in your prayers during this difficult time. Also please continue to pray for me and my family and we deal with our day to day.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Hat! Hat!
Okay so Kaitlynn is obsessed with hats. She runs around stealing everyone's hats and putting them on her head screaming "Hat! Hat!" and patting the top of her head.
Thanks to my friend Megan, I got some really yummy yarn. She was getting rid of her yarn stash and I was fortunate enough to get it all.
So I have been making hats.
I made one for me and I made some for the girls. They are more so spring hats but they turned out so cute I just had to share!
Thanks to my friend Megan, I got some really yummy yarn. She was getting rid of her yarn stash and I was fortunate enough to get it all.
So I have been making hats.
I made one for me and I made some for the girls. They are more so spring hats but they turned out so cute I just had to share!
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Okay So This is Scary
Like I said, every time. EVERY TIME, I verbal vomit all over my blog about how bad I'm feeling, I open my my Joel Osteen email and I get something profound about what I am going through that day. Its just weird. I know that God is using his daily devotional email to speak to me. But its still weird.
This is what it said today:
I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair…He set my feet on solid ground…He has given me a new song to sing…
Psalm 40:1-3, NLT
Now the most profound thing about this is that it doesn't actually say that the Lord is going to deliver me from my problems but that He is going to lift me out of the pit of despair. I read this as He is going to bring about an attitude change in me. He is going to give me a new song to sing. A song of victory over my emotional challenges. I receive this Lord. I receive it in your holy name! I receive that you are going to bring about a change in me. A profound change designed to bring about my victory over my emotional challenges. I receive it Lord!
This scripture gives me hope. It hasn't changed my attitude just yet (I still feel rather blah, as I like to say). But I will wait patiently on the Lord and He will deliver me.
This is what it said today:
I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair…He set my feet on solid ground…He has given me a new song to sing…
Psalm 40:1-3, NLT
Now the most profound thing about this is that it doesn't actually say that the Lord is going to deliver me from my problems but that He is going to lift me out of the pit of despair. I read this as He is going to bring about an attitude change in me. He is going to give me a new song to sing. A song of victory over my emotional challenges. I receive this Lord. I receive it in your holy name! I receive that you are going to bring about a change in me. A profound change designed to bring about my victory over my emotional challenges. I receive it Lord!
This scripture gives me hope. It hasn't changed my attitude just yet (I still feel rather blah, as I like to say). But I will wait patiently on the Lord and He will deliver me.
I Like My Hole
I have built a hole for myself. Sitting in my bedroom surrounded by clutter and copious amounts of yarn, I have made my nest. Sitting in front of the computer pounding keys or sitting on the bed zoning out to my latest DVR recording while crocheting hats, I seclude myself. I like it, on the other hand I don't. I know that I am hiding. Hiding from my family, hiding from financial issues, hiding from health issues that I need to ignore until we get insurance again.
I boldly stated that 2009 was going to be my year. Well it doesn't feel like it yet. Sometimes I feel like we are never going to get out of this hole. Sometimes I feel like I just want to run away and not come back...ever. There are days I regret moving to Colorado and having a family. And everyday I'm just plain old tired.
Jeff doesn't understand and he really doesn't help my situation right now. He yelled at me yesterday about "messing up the kitchen again". I'm so sorry that if you want to eat, I need to use some dishes. He says that every time he cleans it, I mess it up in 15 minutes. Well every time I clean his pee bottles out of the living room, he manages to put some right back.
I am trying. I am really trying to be better. I just can't be better right now. Not by myself. It's hard to recognize that you need help but being stifled by not being able to get help.
Right now, I feel that life would be easier if Jeff just got back into the military. It would be a steady job. A steady paycheck. Free Health care. Access to on post services. The Army truly is a world in itself. Its funny. I always thought that the Army was a sad way of life, that they didn't pay our guys enough. I never appreciated it until we got out. I still don't think they pay the soldiers enough for what they do, but a soldiers paycheck is better than most paychecks you will find in the civilian sector. We struggled while we were in the military, but not as much as we have struggled since he got out. It was a bad time for him to get out of the military. The economy was in the toilet, jobs were few and far between. It was just hard and still is for many people. There was a company here in the springs that laid off over 150 workers right before Christmas.
I think if you can stomach the deployments, the military is the right choice for you. Preferably the Airforce. They don't deploy as often or for as long as the Army and Marines do. I hate deployments, I hate what it does to my family but, would it be better to deploy and know that you have a steady job in such an uncertain economical climate or better to be home with your family and struggle? I don't know. I can't answer that. Right now I'm thinking the former is better but tomorrow I may think the latter is better.
Deployments do change a family in so many ways. People are different after a whole year. People grow and change and its jarring to come back and have things different. Its easier if you are there for the process of growing versus to come back and see the result of it. Soldiers definitely come back different. War changes people in different ways but the things you see and experience, change you forever no matter what some people like to think.
Being an Army family or post Army family in this country today is hard. Its hard to deal with everything that happens during deployments and after. But with this economic climate and the limited jobs out there, is it better just to tough it out until the economy swings back into the black...whenever that may be? For now, I'm going to say yes. Financially things were better when Jeff was still in the military. We struggled but we didn't struggle as much. We were finally comfortable between my job and his and now its hard to make ends meet some weeks.
Lots of verbal diarrhea, I apologize. Its been a rough couple of days and I think its more cathartic for me just to get this all out into the open where I can write and reflect on it than sit and stew. Probably better for my blood pressure.
Do I feel better? No not really. But at least I got it out of my system.
I boldly stated that 2009 was going to be my year. Well it doesn't feel like it yet. Sometimes I feel like we are never going to get out of this hole. Sometimes I feel like I just want to run away and not come back...ever. There are days I regret moving to Colorado and having a family. And everyday I'm just plain old tired.
Jeff doesn't understand and he really doesn't help my situation right now. He yelled at me yesterday about "messing up the kitchen again". I'm so sorry that if you want to eat, I need to use some dishes. He says that every time he cleans it, I mess it up in 15 minutes. Well every time I clean his pee bottles out of the living room, he manages to put some right back.
I am trying. I am really trying to be better. I just can't be better right now. Not by myself. It's hard to recognize that you need help but being stifled by not being able to get help.
Right now, I feel that life would be easier if Jeff just got back into the military. It would be a steady job. A steady paycheck. Free Health care. Access to on post services. The Army truly is a world in itself. Its funny. I always thought that the Army was a sad way of life, that they didn't pay our guys enough. I never appreciated it until we got out. I still don't think they pay the soldiers enough for what they do, but a soldiers paycheck is better than most paychecks you will find in the civilian sector. We struggled while we were in the military, but not as much as we have struggled since he got out. It was a bad time for him to get out of the military. The economy was in the toilet, jobs were few and far between. It was just hard and still is for many people. There was a company here in the springs that laid off over 150 workers right before Christmas.
I think if you can stomach the deployments, the military is the right choice for you. Preferably the Airforce. They don't deploy as often or for as long as the Army and Marines do. I hate deployments, I hate what it does to my family but, would it be better to deploy and know that you have a steady job in such an uncertain economical climate or better to be home with your family and struggle? I don't know. I can't answer that. Right now I'm thinking the former is better but tomorrow I may think the latter is better.
Deployments do change a family in so many ways. People are different after a whole year. People grow and change and its jarring to come back and have things different. Its easier if you are there for the process of growing versus to come back and see the result of it. Soldiers definitely come back different. War changes people in different ways but the things you see and experience, change you forever no matter what some people like to think.
Being an Army family or post Army family in this country today is hard. Its hard to deal with everything that happens during deployments and after. But with this economic climate and the limited jobs out there, is it better just to tough it out until the economy swings back into the black...whenever that may be? For now, I'm going to say yes. Financially things were better when Jeff was still in the military. We struggled but we didn't struggle as much. We were finally comfortable between my job and his and now its hard to make ends meet some weeks.
Lots of verbal diarrhea, I apologize. Its been a rough couple of days and I think its more cathartic for me just to get this all out into the open where I can write and reflect on it than sit and stew. Probably better for my blood pressure.
Do I feel better? No not really. But at least I got it out of my system.
Monday, January 5, 2009
Oh Pastor Joel, Why Do You Convict Me So?
Okay, so every time I have a revelation about my bad day and post it here, I open my email to find my daily devotional from Joel Osteen Ministries. Here was today's devotional:
Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Isaiah 40:30-31, NIV
I do put my faith in the Lord...most days. It's rough for me to be completely in faith 24/7, 365. But most days I do have faith. When I am in a big funk, it tends to be harder to have faith. On those days I don't have faith in myself, much less anyone or anything else.
But I know, how important it is to have faith. Without faith, you cannot accomplish anything. And I'm not just talking about faith in God, I'm talking about faith in general. If you don't have faith in yourself, will you start a business, a project, anything? No. Probably not. So faith is important no matter what we do. But I put my faith in a higher power. I put my faith in the One, the Alpha and the Omega. He numbers my steps. He guides my way. I put my faith in God to deliver me from my current circumstances and bring me out a better person.
Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Isaiah 40:30-31, NIV
I do put my faith in the Lord...most days. It's rough for me to be completely in faith 24/7, 365. But most days I do have faith. When I am in a big funk, it tends to be harder to have faith. On those days I don't have faith in myself, much less anyone or anything else.
But I know, how important it is to have faith. Without faith, you cannot accomplish anything. And I'm not just talking about faith in God, I'm talking about faith in general. If you don't have faith in yourself, will you start a business, a project, anything? No. Probably not. So faith is important no matter what we do. But I put my faith in a higher power. I put my faith in the One, the Alpha and the Omega. He numbers my steps. He guides my way. I put my faith in God to deliver me from my current circumstances and bring me out a better person.
What is Happiness?
Okay so I have been in a funk for a while. Well...a long time. Yesterday because I didn't go to church (stupid slushy, sticky, snowy roads and stupid stupid drivers that want to give me a heart attack), I spent the whole day holed up in my room watching TV and crocheting. I didn't want to deal with anyone or anything. That's just not normal.
Jeff knows that I am in a funk and comes into the room. Gives me a hug and asks me whats wrong. Part of what was wrong is that I am so discouraged with the house. I clean and he messes it up (there are bottles of you know what under the coffee table...again!!!). I fold and put away the girls clothes and they take it ALL out of the closet and throw it on the floor. I clean the playroom and they trash it. Its a never ending cycle. Both girls spend a lot of time in time out for telling us "NO" when they are asked to clean up. Later, Jeff got testy with me. He asked me if I was actually going to cook that night because he had washed some dishes. Lets get something straight, if you tell me that your job is going to be doing the dishes and I go into the kitchen to make dinner and dishes are piled in the sink all the way up to the faucet, you're getting microwaved chicken nuggets buddy. So yes, part of the reason I am in such a funk is the house. Part of it is because no matter how much work I put into it, its never enough. Part of it is also because I feel ignored...by everyone in this house.
I ask Kylie to stop doing something and she looks at me, right after I'm done telling her and she does it anyways. I try to talk to Jeff and it takes 3 or 4 tries of saying the same things before he hears me. I tell Kaitlynn to come over here so I can change her butt and she yells "NO" and runs the opposite way.
So I'm in a funk and I like to sit in my room all day by myself.
But its more than a funk and I know that. I know that this is not just something that is caused by my family and my circumstances. This is bigger than that. This is something that needs medication. I am grouchy and irritable. I want to sleep all the time. I wake up even more tired than when I went to sleep. I am easily angered. I just want to shut the world out and run away. This is not normal. Maybe normal for someone that experiences this on an occasional basis, but this is my everyday.
Unfortunately, we have no medical coverage right now and Jeff makes $5.00 more per week than poverty level status so we do not qualify for assistance. Its sad but its something that I am just going to have to live with until he finds a permanent job. Hes up for a permanent position with Colorado Springs Utilities. The interview process starts in about 10 days. Last we heard, he was the only applicant for the job and he works with the guys who are in charge of hiring for CSU, so I am praying and we are crossing our fingers right now.
Jeff knows that I am in a funk and comes into the room. Gives me a hug and asks me whats wrong. Part of what was wrong is that I am so discouraged with the house. I clean and he messes it up (there are bottles of you know what under the coffee table...again!!!). I fold and put away the girls clothes and they take it ALL out of the closet and throw it on the floor. I clean the playroom and they trash it. Its a never ending cycle. Both girls spend a lot of time in time out for telling us "NO" when they are asked to clean up. Later, Jeff got testy with me. He asked me if I was actually going to cook that night because he had washed some dishes. Lets get something straight, if you tell me that your job is going to be doing the dishes and I go into the kitchen to make dinner and dishes are piled in the sink all the way up to the faucet, you're getting microwaved chicken nuggets buddy. So yes, part of the reason I am in such a funk is the house. Part of it is because no matter how much work I put into it, its never enough. Part of it is also because I feel ignored...by everyone in this house.
I ask Kylie to stop doing something and she looks at me, right after I'm done telling her and she does it anyways. I try to talk to Jeff and it takes 3 or 4 tries of saying the same things before he hears me. I tell Kaitlynn to come over here so I can change her butt and she yells "NO" and runs the opposite way.
So I'm in a funk and I like to sit in my room all day by myself.
But its more than a funk and I know that. I know that this is not just something that is caused by my family and my circumstances. This is bigger than that. This is something that needs medication. I am grouchy and irritable. I want to sleep all the time. I wake up even more tired than when I went to sleep. I am easily angered. I just want to shut the world out and run away. This is not normal. Maybe normal for someone that experiences this on an occasional basis, but this is my everyday.
Unfortunately, we have no medical coverage right now and Jeff makes $5.00 more per week than poverty level status so we do not qualify for assistance. Its sad but its something that I am just going to have to live with until he finds a permanent job. Hes up for a permanent position with Colorado Springs Utilities. The interview process starts in about 10 days. Last we heard, he was the only applicant for the job and he works with the guys who are in charge of hiring for CSU, so I am praying and we are crossing our fingers right now.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Hau'oli Makahiki Hou!!
Thats how we say Happy New Year in Hawaii. :)
2008 has been a major year for ups and downs. Jeff got out the military, he was unemployeed for 3 months, we've been having marital issues, the kids have been butt heads... blah blah blah.
But you know what, I just know that 2009 is going to be a year of great things. I just feel it. Things are going to be so much better this year. Things are going to turn around.
I am not the type of person to make resolutions but, I am going to make 2009 a year of getting myself into a positive frame of mind. I'm going to mentally, figuratively, literally clear the clutter. I'm going to eat better (and smaller portions), I'm going to get more sleep and dust off my eliptical and finally start using it again. I am going to fit into my size 14 jeans again! I am going to foster my creativity and start my own business. I am going to make 2009 about becoming a better me so I can be a better wife, mother and friend. Cause you know when mom isn't happy ain't nobody happy. :)
So now that I have put that out for the world to see, it's now a contract with myself. I resolve to do these things. It may take all year and if it does its fine with me but I'm going to do it. I'm going to make 2009 a year to get my happiness back. It's been a long time since I have been truly happy. I am going find my happiness this year even if it takes until Dec 31st 1159pm...I'm going to do it daggummit!
What are your resolutions for this year?
2008 has been a major year for ups and downs. Jeff got out the military, he was unemployeed for 3 months, we've been having marital issues, the kids have been butt heads... blah blah blah.
But you know what, I just know that 2009 is going to be a year of great things. I just feel it. Things are going to be so much better this year. Things are going to turn around.
I am not the type of person to make resolutions but, I am going to make 2009 a year of getting myself into a positive frame of mind. I'm going to mentally, figuratively, literally clear the clutter. I'm going to eat better (and smaller portions), I'm going to get more sleep and dust off my eliptical and finally start using it again. I am going to fit into my size 14 jeans again! I am going to foster my creativity and start my own business. I am going to make 2009 about becoming a better me so I can be a better wife, mother and friend. Cause you know when mom isn't happy ain't nobody happy. :)
So now that I have put that out for the world to see, it's now a contract with myself. I resolve to do these things. It may take all year and if it does its fine with me but I'm going to do it. I'm going to make 2009 a year to get my happiness back. It's been a long time since I have been truly happy. I am going find my happiness this year even if it takes until Dec 31st 1159pm...I'm going to do it daggummit!
What are your resolutions for this year?
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