Just Breathe...

Well it's been quite an interesting last few weeks...

• I lost my job
  
• Jeff got approved for a job, but can't get hired right now because they are on a hiring freeze.
  
• Kylie starts Kindergarten (real school) on Monday and will be riding the bus home...2 guesses on the part I'm most nervous about.
  
• I feel like I haven't had a minute to myself in 5 years and I am in desperate desperate need of a vacation.
  
• I've been calling around to different assistance groups and we don't qualify either because A. Jeff and I have no current job and therefore can't produce a workable budget for next month, B. Jeff is no longer active duty military, or C. Jeff is not "wounded enough" to qualify for assistance.
  

So what does this woman do when pushed up against a wall and feels like she can't breathe? Chop all her hair off!!



Oh yeah and did I mention that my camera is not working right. Go figure!

Do you like it? I do. What I didn't like was getting made fun of when I got home. Not like I haven't been having a crappy enough time the past couple of weeks but I had to come home and hear Jeff start in on me about "Dude" this and "I'm married to a man" that. What a way to pop someone's bubble not to mention hurting their feelings. Plus to top it off, he takes a subject and rolls with it until someone is on the verge of tears and then doesn't feel bad about it because it was "just a joke" and "not his fault if you take it the wrong way".

But I digress...

Just please keep my family in your thoughts and prayers these next few weeks. I'm a little tired of my situation and a LOT frustrated. I need deliverance NOW or I might just leave (by myself) and hop the next flight to Hawaii and camp out on the beach for the rest of my life.

After writing this post, I went to my living room to vacuum up the cereal crumbs from this morning and wouldn't you know it, my vacuum stopped working. Chock it up to another perfect day!

Contentment? What's that?

"I rejoice greatly in the Lord that at last you have renewed your concern form me. Indeed, you have been concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. I am not saying this because I am in need for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances, I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength."

Philippians 4:10-13 NIV

This morning I got up early and I was still feeling the effects of yesterday's heat exhaustion (don't work in the yard during mid-day when the sun is blazing). So I called in to work and said that I wasn't going to come in. The idea of driving to work with a mind splitting headache was just not a happy thought. The house was quiet early in the morning so I went to the kitchen grabbed a cool wet cloth, a tall glass of ice water and an Excedrin and plopped myself down on the couch with my iPod. While checking email and looking at Facebook I had an urge to check my bible verses app and see what brilliant quote it would bring me today. The past couple of days it hasn't brought me anything inspiring or relevant to what I have been going through lately but this morning, it was like a slap in the face (in a good way, if there is such a thing). This morning it brought me Philippians 4:13, "I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Most days I will get my quote and find it in the bible so I can read what comes before it and what comes after it. It's extremely important to understand not just the quote but also what precedes and follows it. What precedes that quote is powerful! Being content no matter what.

It is no secret that I am not content. I was doing some self examination after reading this quote. Why am I not content. Well there is the obvious my husband being jobless, having virtually 0 dollars in our account, creditor calls everyday. But I think I could handle all of that. I think I could be content if I didn't... have kids. It hurts me to see my kids going without things. They have food and a roof over their heads but apart from Church we don't really go anywhere. They don't get to get out and see the world. We have the occasional hike or trip to the park but that's about it (cause gas costs money too you know). When my friends are talking about swim lessons and mutton busting my heart hurts for my children knowing that they can't have that. I realize that stuff is material. I realize that stuff is not important in the grand scheme of things but I feel as if my children are deprived on some level because I can't afford any of that, no summer programs, no T-ball, no soccer, nothing. I mean we don't even have grass in the backyard for them to play on. To me it's sad, it makes me feel like a bad parent and leaves me with a feeling of discontent. But I sit here and imagine what it would be like to just feel satisfied all the time no matter what life throws at you. What a dream that would be! To just be okay all the time, not worrying about anything because you know that at some point anything you need or have ever needed will be met.

I remember the days of plenty. I remember not having to struggle and that makes this period in my life even harder. I remember being able to take trips and not just to the zoo but back home to Hawaii, Las Vegas and Oregon. I remember vacations and eating out and even just the basic of paying my mortgage on time. And it's hard to put all of that out of my mind and just live in the moment and be satisfied with what today holds and not think about what tomorrow will bring.

The flesh worries, the flesh stresses out but when you live in the spirit the worries of the flesh disappear. I want to live in the spirit. I want to be like Paul and feel satisfied no matter what life brings to me. Most days I can. Some days are easier than others to be satisfied and content, but recently I have been growing more and more frustrated with my husband. And it's been harder and harder to feel content and satisfied. I have been feeling very angry and resentful and I know I shouldn't but I do. I don't talk about it with him and that's mostly the reason why I haven't blogged in so long cause if you can't say anything nice... But I'm trying to deal with it. I'm clinging so hard to my faith that God will deliver me and I keep telling myself that it will be soon. Realistically I know that everything happens in God's time and not mine but lately I've been feeling that God is trying to do something good NOW but Jeff is holding it back. I'm probably projecting, but that's how I feel.

Pray for me!

I'm Back!

It has been one interesting week. A week of conflict for Jeff and I and a week of illness for Jeff and I. Amazing how the children escaped it. Now we are in full blizzard mode.

We started the week in a "great way" with a fight; and we are ending the week in a great way, our stomachs are finally starting to resemble normal.

The children have ruled the roost the past couple of days. They have been pigging out on junk food and canned soup. It's about all I have been able to make for them. Today I am tackling a mountain of dishes and laundry and toys. Things tend to pile up when both parents are sick and the kids run freely through the house. You know you aren't feeling well when you allow the kids to have a fruit roll up, arare and sweet confetti puffed rice (I googled and googled this and could not for the life of me find it online) for lunch.

I'm still not 100% today. I'm feeling a little dizzy and still a little queasy but that is so much better than being bed ridden like I was a couple of days ago. My entire body hurt and I was well...to lack a better way to phrase it, peeing out my butt. I know you just really needed to know that. I know. Hey I'm the queen of TMI, what can I say.

Jeff is just now starting to feel better. He absolutely refused to listen to anything I had to say and thus made himself feel a whole lot worse before he felt any better. Yesterday even though he was still having his "issues" as mentioned above and throwing up, he was eating fruit roll ups, strawberries and drinking orange juice. No wonder he was up all night again last night, while I slept fairly well considering. Now that hes listening to me and eating what he's supposed to and drinking his ginger tea, he's finally starting to feel better.

Score one for the mom! I wish I could say that this would teach him to listen to me because I'm ALWAYS right. But I know it won't. One can only hope. Look for a couple more posts today as I catch up on not posting for over a week.

A Lazy Monday Afternoon Walk

There is a great area near our house. It's a very light walk with lots to see along the way. Kaitlynn walked most of it all by herself. That is except when I had to pick her up because she was very mad that the rocks on the trail would not get out of her way. I don't ask why. Mine is only to make the, "Out My Way! Out My Way Wock!" stop so that we can continue our walk. But it was still a very nice walk and it was a great day for it. It was wonderful family time together without any distractions and the girls enjoyed seeing all of the animals that called the area home. Kaitlynn even tried to convince us that she saw a snake. She was very adamant about it too. At one point she was even calling to "the snake" which was just a fallen branch by the trail. Kylie enjoyed investigating and yelling out whenever she saw a bird or a squirrel. I definitely think that we need to start going on family walks more often. Even sour puss Jeff had a good time.

Here are just a couple of pictures from our walk today.



This was at the very beginning of the trail head. Kaitlynn was just walking along as happy as can be. She was singing to herself, "I walking! I walking!" This while Kylie was trotting up ahead. She kept trying to get to the next sign so we could read and "learn 'bout everything."



Some of the local wildlife. A goose sitting on her nest.



Some kind of bird in the cattails. I'm sure that there was a sign that told me the exact name of this bird but I can't remember.



Some ducks in the marsh.

And finally for your amusement...



Do you see what Jeff's shirt says? Hah! That is his perfect day. I believe that I got him that shirt for his birthday. It's actually his favorite shirt even though he knows I got it to poke fun at him!

The First Haircut

I remember when Kylie got her first haircut. She and Daddy both got their haircut at the same time. We went to the barber shop at the PX. She was 2 and so very excited to get her first haircut. She sat perfectly still and she was done in about 10 minutes. We saved the hair from that haircut but it was lost when we moved to our new house.

Kaitlynn on the other hand...

Kaitlynn just had her first haircut about 3 weeks ago. She did not sit perfectly still. She looked everywhere completely overstimulated by the lights and the toys at Kiddie Kutters.



She kept trying to look in the mirror to see what the stylist was doing. Every time the stylist put her head down she perked it back up to look at what the other kids in the salon were doing. That is until she was given her lollipop.



Then you couldn't get her to look up. It was funny. All she was concerned about after that was getting that darn wrapper off. She was perfectly still after that.

I do have to say that the cutest thing was right after the first picture was taken. Right after that, the stylist cut Kaitlynn's long bangs and she proclaimed to everyone within a 5 mile radius, "I SEE!". It was very cute.

Sorry there is no pose with her new haircut. That's when my camera batteries promptly died!

Potty Training...Oy!

So the other day, Kaitlynn decides that she needs to start using the toilet, "like a big girl". This through no prompting from me. But the problem is, she doesn't know how to empty her bladder when shes on the potty so we end up with a 1 hour span of her going tinkle tinkle, getting off the potty, putting her diaper back on and then within 2 minutes saying she has to go again.

I would say about 80% she will actually pee in the potty. The rest of the time its for sitting and playing with things within reach.

I have absolutely no experience in potty training. Strange right? I have a 5 year old. You would think I would know how to potty train. But Kylie being as stubborn as her mama, didn't want to use the toilet. Period. She loved to pee in her pull up. I think it was because she knew that it irritated me. She did however use the toilet for "stinky" because one day she got sick and I, being tired of cleaning up the child and the clothes and the floor and her general area, plopped her on the toilet. From that day on, she did not poop in her pull up. But getting her to pee on the potty with regularity was like pulling teeth. So it was not ultimately me who got her to do it. It was my 13 (at the time) year old babysitter. Kylie really looked up to her and she told Kylie that she smelled bad and that she needed to be a big girl and pee on the potty. And in 5 minutes... Kylie was completely potty trained. See, stubborn! It's not that she couldn't do it, she just didn't want to.

So now I find myself in unfamiliar territory. Potty training. Well at lest I can say one thing, the sooner shes using the potty, the sooner I get to stop washing diapers.

Putting the Tiny Person to Bed.

I just got through putting Kaitlynn to bed. Lemme just tell you how this went tonight.

First it started with a bath. I asked her, "Do you want a bath?" She replies, "Jes, bat (Yes, bath). Jes, bat. Yay!" And proceeds to run off to the bathroom attempting to take off her diaper.

At the bathroom door she asks, "My potty. Potty." So I ask her, "Do you want to sit on the potty?" To which she replies, "Jes, potty. Jes, potty. Yay!"

So I take off her diaper while she continues to chant, "Jes, potty. Yay!" And then plop her down on the potty. She looks at me with a huge smile on her face and says "Potty, Yay!". She sat there for about 3 minutes and made pushing noises. Announces, "Poopy. Potty. Yay!" and then tells me "Dun". So I pull her off the potty and... There nothing in there. Ha ha fooled you. :)

Then I plop her into the bathtub and proceed to scrub her down and then let her play for a while. After about 10 minutes, she was already starting to shake and her lips were turning blue. I told her it was time to get out. "Time to get out" was immediate followed by wild crying and screaming. She loves her bath time. She did not want to get out even if she turned into a blue popsicle. So I pull the screaming mass out of the bathtub and take her to the bedroom to get her ready for bed.

After wiping her up, lotioning her up (shes got eczema on her legs again) and putting a new diaper on her, I put her pjs on. As I'm zipping up her pjs, she looks at me and says, "No wanna go bed." I look her in the eyes and say, "It's bed time. You need to go to bed." This was answered with a "Hmpf." Then she crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. ROLLED HER EYES! SHES 2! Kylie didn't start rolling her eyes at me until she was at least 3 1/2. Why does the second child grow up so much faster than the first child. And why is it that they pick up the attitude first?

Okay so I thought this was a good story. Jeff says I don't get to my point fast enough. Ha, well I guess for once, I proved him right.

I Will Resist...

She is not cute and adorable. I will resist. She does not have us wrapped around her finger. I will resist. She does not do strange and wacky things. I will resist. She does not say the cutest things ever. I will resist.

Okay so today, I was reading one of my favorite blogs The Pioneer Woman. This adorable, small person comes up to me and worms her way up into my lap. As I'm looking at pictures she starts pointing to the screen. "Hoe-see, Hoe-see". "Ohhh was dat?," as she points to some bedding on the screen. Then she forcefully moves my hands away from my keyboard and mouse. Waves her hand in my face and says "I-gaw-dis. I-gaw-dis". Her father's favorite saying, "I got this". He likes to say that when he does something like miss his off ramp on the interstate or when I start doing the dishes 3 hours after I asked him to do it.

It was just so cute. To hear her say it. In her little tiny girl voice. Waving her hand at me like a teenager saying, "I-gaw-dis". Then as I remove her from my lap and chase her down the hallway, she runs into the kitchen and freezes. She turns to the cupcakes sitting on the counter, smacks her lips and says with her head cocked to the side and a big smile on her face, "Peee-ze, Cake. Yah!"

I will resist.

How Much Do You Really Have to Spend to Have a Great Birthday?

My littlest turned two today. Oh how does time fly. But even before Jeff was laided off, I wanted to see if I could take the handmade challenge and go totally mommy made for her birthday. Her birthday budget just like Kylies was $40.00 and I was WELL under budget going all handmade and I ended up making her a TON of things. Just take a look.



One of the dress sets purchased at a store would have cost me $20.00 just by itself. But I was able to make all this for under $20.00! Yep you heard me under $20.00. It just took a lot of time and patience and research and she had a very blessed birthday if I do say so myself. :)

Her sister even got in on the act and made her a coloring book.



Unfortunately, Jeff is not crafty. But he enjoyed watching me make the presents. Oh and making fun of me everytime I screamed when I pricked my finger. He throughly enjoyed that.

Doesn't the birthday girl look happy? And thats the most important thing right?



Happy Birthday My Love! I hope that you felt spoiled and adored on your 2nd birthday!

First Trip to the Dentist

Kylie had her first official visit to the dentist today. A visit that started with a routine exam and ended with cavities being filled and a tooth being pulled.

As I watched her small little body in the dental chair I was nervous. This was her first trip to the dentist, I didn't want her to be scarred for life. I didn't want her to be afraid of the dental chair. Here was this little, tiny girl in this huge chair with a drill in her mouth and she was...singing!

Yep, that's right, my daughter was singing and making motor boat noises to the amusement of the dentist and his assistant.

I personally hate the dentist. I don't like having other people put their hands in my mouth. My dentist was a nice enough guy but not the most gentle personality. The dentist that Kylie saw today was great. Great demeanor. Great sense of humor. Great bedside manor.

This potentially horrific dental visit, turned into a fun time for Kylie. If I hadn't known better, I would have sworn that they gave her some nitrous oxide. But no, she was genuinely chipper through out the entire visit and I swear even with all the instruments in her mouth, she still tried to talk the dentist's ear off. She is so my child.

But now she has a whole new smile. She really doesn't like it. She says that she will never smile again. I don't know how true that is going to be. But she is fascinated by the hole in her mouth.

I Walked Into the Room and What Did I See?

A monkey sitting on a bookcase...

Yep, she climbed out of her crib this morning and was sitting on her bookcase. Kylie came to get me saying, "Mommy, Mommy, Kaitlynn is sitting on the bookcase."

Now this is not the first time it happened. This has happened before but we lowered her crib as far as it would go and figured that it would not be a problem...until this morning.

My children are very special I tell you what.

Operation Christmas Child Revisit

So a couple of months ago I talked about giving and how we put together a shoe box for Operation Christmas Child.

I love Operation Christmas Child! And this year, we actually got to see the child that our box went to.



Kylie got a huge envelope in the mail from a missionary group called "Build the Future USA". They sent her a lovely letter detailing their mission trip to the Yucatan Peninsula. I particularly like this passage:

"The excitement in their eyes and the smiles on their faces are priceless. The boxes and it's contents are carefully examined, each item is cherished and placed back into the box exactly as it was packed. Some of the children save the paper it was originally wrapped in, picking up every scrap that was torn off when they opened the box."

These children who have very little, cherish this small gift that we gave. I can tell you the look on her face just says it all to me. The look on Kylie's face when she saw the little girl who received her box was priceless. It makes it all worth it for me and I can't wait to do it with both of my girls this year.

If you want to find out more about how you can give to Operation Christmas Child and Samaritan's Purse, please go to www.samaritanspurse.org.

It's Been a Week

This last week has been interesting... With not going to work all week because of illness or just nothing for me to do and projectile vomiting small children to my increasing realization that I NEED happy pills, it's been a week.

With children who throw temper tantrums in stores (and I'm not talking about the almost 2 year old), it's been an interesting 7 days.

I have been making newborn hats (for a friend, not me, don't get any ideas) and burying myself in Bones reruns on Hulu. Thats my escapism. Going to the craft store and losing myself in yummy fabrics and daydreaming of all the projects I can make is also one of my loved forms of escapism...as long as I don't have screaming, pouty children with me.

Jeff officially told Kylie that she was no longer going to accompany me to stores unless I absolutely needed to go and I couldn't leave her with him. For the last couple of weeks, everytime I go into a store with her she throws a fit. Whether it's because I tell her that I'm not going to buy her anything or because I tell her that shes not allowed to hang off the handle on the shopping cart. Something will set her off and she will scream bloody murder in a store. Shes 5 so this is more embarrassing for me than when she was 3 and screaming in a store. When she was 3 people would excuse her and not throw me evil looks...all the time. Now shes 5 and she should be behaving better and not reacting this way to things so people tend to stare and look at me with judging faces. Then when we get home and she is punished for her outburst she tells me that I'm hurting her feelings. Oy Vay. Shes is really 5 going on 15. But the good news about this is, Jeff and I signed up for parenting classes through HeadStart last week. It's a free 16 week course for parents and their children. They teach the kids better behaviors while they are teaching the parents how to deal with the difficult behaviors. I am SO looking forward to this class.

On top of my rough week, a friend of mine lost a niece this weekend. My heart breaks for her family. Her sister-in-law tried for years to get pregnant. After a 7 year battle with infertility, they were finally blessed with a little girl. Unfortunately there were complications during delivery and the baby didn't make it. My heart just breaks for this family. I cried when I heard the news. So I know that compared to this incredible loss, my bad week is nothing.

But I just ask anyone who reads my blog, to pray for this family. Keep them in your prayers during this difficult time. Also please continue to pray for me and my family and we deal with our day to day.

What is Happiness?

Okay so I have been in a funk for a while. Well...a long time. Yesterday because I didn't go to church (stupid slushy, sticky, snowy roads and stupid stupid drivers that want to give me a heart attack), I spent the whole day holed up in my room watching TV and crocheting. I didn't want to deal with anyone or anything. That's just not normal.

Jeff knows that I am in a funk and comes into the room. Gives me a hug and asks me whats wrong. Part of what was wrong is that I am so discouraged with the house. I clean and he messes it up (there are bottles of you know what under the coffee table...again!!!). I fold and put away the girls clothes and they take it ALL out of the closet and throw it on the floor. I clean the playroom and they trash it. Its a never ending cycle. Both girls spend a lot of time in time out for telling us "NO" when they are asked to clean up. Later, Jeff got testy with me. He asked me if I was actually going to cook that night because he had washed some dishes. Lets get something straight, if you tell me that your job is going to be doing the dishes and I go into the kitchen to make dinner and dishes are piled in the sink all the way up to the faucet, you're getting microwaved chicken nuggets buddy. So yes, part of the reason I am in such a funk is the house. Part of it is because no matter how much work I put into it, its never enough. Part of it is also because I feel ignored...by everyone in this house.

I ask Kylie to stop doing something and she looks at me, right after I'm done telling her and she does it anyways. I try to talk to Jeff and it takes 3 or 4 tries of saying the same things before he hears me. I tell Kaitlynn to come over here so I can change her butt and she yells "NO" and runs the opposite way.

So I'm in a funk and I like to sit in my room all day by myself.

But its more than a funk and I know that. I know that this is not just something that is caused by my family and my circumstances. This is bigger than that. This is something that needs medication. I am grouchy and irritable. I want to sleep all the time. I wake up even more tired than when I went to sleep. I am easily angered. I just want to shut the world out and run away. This is not normal. Maybe normal for someone that experiences this on an occasional basis, but this is my everyday.

Unfortunately, we have no medical coverage right now and Jeff makes $5.00 more per week than poverty level status so we do not qualify for assistance. Its sad but its something that I am just going to have to live with until he finds a permanent job. Hes up for a permanent position with Colorado Springs Utilities. The interview process starts in about 10 days. Last we heard, he was the only applicant for the job and he works with the guys who are in charge of hiring for CSU, so I am praying and we are crossing our fingers right now.

Matchy Matchy

Okay so I don't know if "matchy" is a word but, Kylie really wanted to buy her doll a dress today. But for the same price as it would cost to buy one doll dress, I could make her and her doll 2 sets of matching dresses. So I gave her the choice and she chose to have me make the dresses. Didn't they turn out great? Its a modified version of a pillowcase dress and I have to say that I like this version so much better than the regular pillowcase dress with the ribbon. The ones that you make with the ribbon are pretty and everything but you have to stress about making sure the ribbon is even on both sides, if they stretch while you are putting it on, you have to start again...its just drama. This version is so much easier and I think it looks so cute!

For Kylie's dress and her dolls dress (plus scrunchies for both) it just took one yard of fabric, a little bit of elastic, one package of bias tape and one package of ric-rac. It was pretty easy and I really like the results and from the look on Kylie's face, so does she! One down, one more to go! Tomorrow, I'm putting together her pink camouflage dress...oy! I have created a monster. :)

She wants to wear this tomorrow...as long as she has a jacket on I'm fine with it.

The Best Christmas Present...

Christmas morning, Kaitlynn didn't know what to make of it. She stood in front of it totally confused. What was it? Is it for me? What do I do with it? Well right after she was done opening her presents, she found out exactly what it was! She took off and disappeared into this wondrous present for an hour and a half and didn't come out. She absolutely LOVES it! She just doesn't like sharing it.

Christmas morning, Kylie blows through the baby gate that I set up and peaks into the living room (just to make sure that there are presents under the tree) then bounces down the hall into my room and whispers in my ear, "Mommy, I got a Rose Petal Cottage for Christmas". This was responded too by me with "Kylie, you knocked over the baby gate? Go back to your room and wait for Mommy and Daddy to get up."

She waited with baited anticipation. She wanted to play with that cottage. She has seen it on Jon and Kate plus 8 and she really really REALLY wanted one. Well because she decided to make some bad decisions that morning (apart from blowing through the baby gate), she didn't get to play with it until after nap time. But when she finally got in there, we lost her for about an hour as well.

This has been the hit of all the Christmas presents. Forget the Bob books, the tea set, the barbies or the babies. Forget about all that stuff (well Kaitlynn does love her baby) and you still have two very happy little girls because of this AWESOME playhouse and one very generous Grandpa.

My Dad sent a check for the girls for Christmas. So I went out and did some bargain shopping. I found this Rose Petal Cottage on Craigslist for $75. I got the cottage and the stove (which is standard when you buy it new). But I also got the sink, the nursery, play food, a baby doll, a wicker basket for the food and a blanket for the baby doll. I got a SCREAMING deal on this thing and I have to say that it's the best present. This thing is so big that I can fit inside. Jeff even said how cool this thing was when we were setting it up at 3am. It is AWESOME! I cannot say that enough. I just throw them in there and they happily play until one of them takes the others plate or pan or something and then one of them needs a time out. Everyone needs a Rose Petal Cottage! It's entertainment for girls of all ages. :)

Mommy is Santa Real?

"Mommy, is Santa real?" That is something as a parent, I dreaded to hear. I didn't want Kylie to question whether or not Santa was real just yet. I mean, shes 5 years old! But, yesterday she asked me the question.

I have been mulling over how to answer that question for a long time. I knew it would come up eventually and like most parents I don't want to lie to my child about something like Santa. So, I answered her as truthfully as I could without telling her that Santa the person is not real.

We sat down with her little sister on the couch and read "Yes, Virginia there is a Santa Claus". After I was done reading it to her, I explained that as long as there are people out there who are willing to give to others, that Santa Claus will always exist because Santa is the spirit of giving. We talked about the true meaning of the holiday season and why it's important to give to others this time of year. That it's not about toys and presents that we get, it's about what we can give to others and what we can do for them. Then we read a story about the birth of Jesus, and used that as a spring board to talk about God's gift to us all.

So I guessed I used the dread question as a way to open up dialog with Kylie about the true meaning of Christmas. We talked about how important it is to give to those in need this holiday season and lets face it there are a lot of people in need right now. We talked about how important it was that we participated in Operation Christmas Child and the annual Westside Moms Adopt a Family and even giving our canned goods to the church today as part of their annual Christmas food drive. About why we give to the Salvation Army this time of year. All that stuff is what Christmas is really about. It's about giving of yourself to others just as God gave His one and only son to us so that we may be saved.

Building Sentences and Learning to Read

So I have been trying to work with Kylie and her reading skills. Lately we have been playing a game either in the car or with our fridge magnets where I sound out a word and she spells it. Its been working pretty well I have to say but I found this online the other day as I was surfing around blogland.

You really have to take a look at that website. Its fabulous!

Anywho, so I decided that I could make one. Unfortunately, I don't have magnets or a magnet board. I also don't have a laminator but I do have felt so this is what I made.



The words go along with a beginning reader story she has called "We Jump". I added some words because the book is pretty simple but she is very excited now that she has it.

Today is the official start of Christmas break so, its definitely a tool that we are going to use for the next two weeks! I'll update on her progress as we go along.

When You Give a Dork a Leapster

So Kylie's birthday was Thursday and she got a brand new shiny pink Leapster (from my Dad) and some games.

When you give a dork a Leapster, this is what you find on Saturday morning when you get up...



Yes Virginia she is sitting in a Rubbermaid bin...



Then this is what happens when you give another dork some empty toilet paper rolls.



Yes, my children are very strange. But at least Kylie is enjoying her birthday present. She just will not put that Leapster down.

Crappy Start Great Finish

Okay so this week started on not so high of a note but, I have to say that it ended well.

So I was in church today like I am every Sunday and I had a revelation. I know that Circle Drive Baptist is the place for me to be. I don't really consider myself a baptist more just a general christian but, when I walk into the sanctuary, I feel...happy.

No matter how badly my day starts off, going to church makes me feel happy. I'm thinking now and I don't really know if any other church has truly made me feel happy when I walk through the door. Inspired, convicted, appreciative, guilty (yep, I have been to those kind of churches) maybe but not really happy. I had a though morning today. I just couldn't drag myself out of bed, Kylie was a bundle of energy and questions the minute I set my tired feet on the ground. That is just not cool when you are A. tired and B. have not yet had a cup of coffee. Kaitlynn was fussy. Kylie was argumentative. My face turned red and the thought of locking them both in the basement until Christmas crossed my mind. But then I realized the Christmas presents were down there. I frantically made breakfast, showered, got dressed and ran out the door at 10:48 (keep in mind that church starts at 11 and it usually takes me 20 minutes to get there). So it was a harried morning to say the least. But, when I dropped Kylie off at children's church, I see smiling faces. When I walk up the stairs to the sanctuary, I see smiling faces and people telling me "Good Morning". I walk into the sanctuary, and I see the beautifully decorated Living Christmas tree and I just felt, happy.

No matter what is going on in my life, financial difficulty, marital difficulty, feelings of loneliness and wanting to run away from it all, when I get to church it all seems to go away and I can truly focus on what should always be first in my life...God. I think that for me, God tends to get lost sometimes in the trials of the week. That should not happen I know. I should be God-minded all the time. But in the reality of this world that is hard. But, I am working on it. I realized this morning that when I am God-minded, no matter what my circumstances, I am truly happy. So that's why, being at church makes me truly happy. I can focus on what is really important. Focus on God and He will take care of the rest.

So speaking of The Living Christmas tree. I hear its a great time and if anyone wants to go, I picked up extra tickets today. Just let me know!