Monday, December 29, 2008

Matchy Matchy

Okay so I don't know if "matchy" is a word but, Kylie really wanted to buy her doll a dress today. But for the same price as it would cost to buy one doll dress, I could make her and her doll 2 sets of matching dresses. So I gave her the choice and she chose to have me make the dresses. Didn't they turn out great? Its a modified version of a pillowcase dress and I have to say that I like this version so much better than the regular pillowcase dress with the ribbon. The ones that you make with the ribbon are pretty and everything but you have to stress about making sure the ribbon is even on both sides, if they stretch while you are putting it on, you have to start again...its just drama. This version is so much easier and I think it looks so cute!

For Kylie's dress and her dolls dress (plus scrunchies for both) it just took one yard of fabric, a little bit of elastic, one package of bias tape and one package of ric-rac. It was pretty easy and I really like the results and from the look on Kylie's face, so does she! One down, one more to go! Tomorrow, I'm putting together her pink camouflage dress...oy! I have created a monster. :)

She wants to wear this tomorrow...as long as she has a jacket on I'm fine with it.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

The Best Christmas Present...

Christmas morning, Kaitlynn didn't know what to make of it. She stood in front of it totally confused. What was it? Is it for me? What do I do with it? Well right after she was done opening her presents, she found out exactly what it was! She took off and disappeared into this wondrous present for an hour and a half and didn't come out. She absolutely LOVES it! She just doesn't like sharing it.

Christmas morning, Kylie blows through the baby gate that I set up and peaks into the living room (just to make sure that there are presents under the tree) then bounces down the hall into my room and whispers in my ear, "Mommy, I got a Rose Petal Cottage for Christmas". This was responded too by me with "Kylie, you knocked over the baby gate? Go back to your room and wait for Mommy and Daddy to get up."

She waited with baited anticipation. She wanted to play with that cottage. She has seen it on Jon and Kate plus 8 and she really really REALLY wanted one. Well because she decided to make some bad decisions that morning (apart from blowing through the baby gate), she didn't get to play with it until after nap time. But when she finally got in there, we lost her for about an hour as well.

This has been the hit of all the Christmas presents. Forget the Bob books, the tea set, the barbies or the babies. Forget about all that stuff (well Kaitlynn does love her baby) and you still have two very happy little girls because of this AWESOME playhouse and one very generous Grandpa.

My Dad sent a check for the girls for Christmas. So I went out and did some bargain shopping. I found this Rose Petal Cottage on Craigslist for $75. I got the cottage and the stove (which is standard when you buy it new). But I also got the sink, the nursery, play food, a baby doll, a wicker basket for the food and a blanket for the baby doll. I got a SCREAMING deal on this thing and I have to say that it's the best present. This thing is so big that I can fit inside. Jeff even said how cool this thing was when we were setting it up at 3am. It is AWESOME! I cannot say that enough. I just throw them in there and they happily play until one of them takes the others plate or pan or something and then one of them needs a time out. Everyone needs a Rose Petal Cottage! It's entertainment for girls of all ages. :)

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Merry Christmas Everyone!


Merry Christmas


From my disfunctional family to yours :) ...Merry Christmas!!!

Gingerbread Latte

Today on Crockpot 365, the Crockpot Lady made some Gingerbread Lattes.

It sounded good to me. I hadn't had my coffee yet but,

#1. Like ground ginger...in moderation

#2. I already had some cider going in my crockpot.

#3. I like my coffee sweet.

and

#4. I would be the only one drinking it so I know that I didn't need to make a whole lot of it

so this is how I adjusted her recipe:

Gingerbread Latte

2 C milk
1/2 C sugar
1/2 tsp ground ginger
1 tsp vanilla
1 tsp cinnamon
1/8 tsp cloves
1/8 tsp ground nutmeg

Put all ingredients into a saucepan. Heat the saucepan on high and start whisking your ingredients. Heat on high for 5 minutes or until the milk is warmed through, the spices are fragrant and the mixture is nice and frothy.

In a coffee mug mix

1/2 tbsp instant coffee
3/4 C water

stir to combine

Pour 1 C of hot milk mixture over your coffee and stir to combine.

Garnish with whipped cream and ground nutmeg or cinnamon if desired.

Enjoy.


This came out so YUMMY! Let me tell you. I think this might beat out eggnog now as my holiday drink of choice. Its rich and warming with just a little hint of ginger and just a little ginger heat on the back of your throat as you sip away. This would be fabulous with those Choco-Orange Cookies I posted about yesterday.

Crockpot Mulled "Cider"

Okay so this recipe is just too good to keep to myself.

I made this the other day and I'm making another batch in the crock right now. Its so easy and so yummy. Kylie said that she will not drink any other cider. She didn't like the cider we got at Starbucks the other day but she said that she just LOVES my homemade cider.

Well it's not technically cider because its made from apple juice (thus the quotation marks around cider) but its still so good and nice on a cold day.





Kristi's Crockpot Mulled "Cider"

1 can of frozen apple juice concentrate prepared according to instructions
1 tsp orange zest
1 cinnamon stick
10 whole cloves
1/4 tsp ground nutmeg
1 tbsp brown sugar

Combine all the ingredients in your crockpot and cook on high for 2 hours. Serve warm.

So good, so easy! I make this in my 1.5 qt crockpot. If you make it in a larger crockpot I would double the recipe.

And bonus, not only does it taste good but it makes your house smell like the holidays.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

The Best Cookies EVER!!!

Okay so maybe not the BEST cookies ever but they are my new favorite cookies.

I was mixing up a double batch of 4-in-1 Cookie Dough last night. Of course I had lost the recipe...again. And I had to look it up on the Kraftfoods website. Well it seems like they always have different variations at the bottom. There are so many different cookies you can make with this one dough. Well I decided to try a new variation with these cookies. The Choco-Orange cookies.

Can I just say...OMG YUM!!!! These are so good. I didn't really think I would jive on the chocolate and orange combo but it is just out of this world.

I swirled the chocolate on the cookies and they are just delightful. A must try this holiday season.

Oh and btw, this cookie dough recipe makes you look like a total rock star. With one double batch of dough I made the Choco-Orange cookies, Traditional sugar cookies with Christmas Sprinkles and Apricot Thumb prints (and didn't even use up all the dough). You can make so many more though. Jeff really likes the Pinwheel variation.

Try it today and I promise, your family will love you for it. FYI, this dough also makes fabulous cut-outs.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Vent...

I usually love Mondays. Its the one day a week that I don't have to get up early. It's the one day a week where I am not plagued with the thought of Jeff sitting out in the living room like a lump, playing his game. Its the one day a week where I don't have to drive back and forth all over town.

I love Mondays...usually.

Today was different. It started off with Jeff not getting up for his alarm. He was an hour late for work and just announced that he was not going to work today. Not going to work? But today is Monday, its my day! Then I stepped back and thought about why I was so upset. Most women, would love for their husbands to take a day off of work. But most women are not me. I just sat in bed and thought about my plans for the day. I was going to clean. I know, so exciting right? Well the reason I don't like to clean is that I HATE, to clean around Jeff. That's right, around him. He will sit there on his laptop and pay absolutely no attention to me or offer help, or help when I ask him to because hes playing his game. That's so much more important to him. He says that he could care less about his game or the people he chats with everyday online, but to me, his actions reflect differently. When he's on his laptop, he ignores his children and he ignores me. He pays no attention to them or anything around him.

Dads are supposed to play with their kids, want to be involved, take them places, spend time with them. Jeff has only taken both of his girls somewhere ONCE. That was my birthday, June 8th. He took them to the store to buy cake mix to make me a birthday cake (while I took a nap). That's it. It was not a fun outing. It was an errand. When I plan fun family outings, he complains the whole time. He gives me a hard time about it and then ruins it for everyone with his sullen attitude. Except on Halloween, but that's because he was hoping to get some personal favors from me when we got home, and because I was exhausted by the time I got home and didn't perform, he didn't speak to me for 3 days.

He says that we have no money to do anything fun with the girls. But all of the outings I plan are free. He could always take them to the park, so I can get some kid free time (I'm with one or both of them EVERYDAY ALL THE TIME, heck, Kaitlynn comes to work with me so that isn't even kid free). We have a brand new park walking distance from our house. But he doesn't like to be around people, so going anywhere is out of the question.

He even got pissed off when he took Kylie to the store to shop for my Christmas present. All because he didn't know what I liked or what I was into (he even said this about Kylie). To me that statement says that he just flat out doesn't pay attention and doesn't care.

I get a movie for us to watch together and he watches it without me.

And the worst part is that I let all of this ruin my day. Its hard when hes yelling at me this morning, because he can't find the car keys (when they were hanging up on the rack). Or telling me that I'm harassing him because he didn't want to go to work. I didn't say anything to him. He told me to go back to sleep this morning but when the girls are both awake and I've been listening to his alarm since 5am, its kinda hard to go back to sleep. By me getting up this morning after I was "told" to go back to sleep, was like a slap in the face for him I guess. He "tells" me something and I'm supposed to jump. I ask him something and it takes hours to days to months to get a response from him.

He constantly breaks promises. He told me that I could sleep in on Saturday. I NEVER get to sleep in (I get the occasional 1 hour nap here or there but never sleep in, not even on my birthday). I let him sleep in because I'm being considerate. He has a hard time falling asleep (he has insomnia) so when he finally does go to sleep, I try to let him do just that. But I didn't get to sleep in on Saturday. Had I tried to wake him up, he would have been upset so I just got up, made everyone breakfast like I normally do and just let him sleep. He said he would clean the kitchen for me this weekend, that didn't happen. He didn't even clean his pee bottles out of the living room. Yes, pee bottles. My husband is a 5 year old and is too lazy to get up to go to the bathroom and will pee in empty bottles and shove them under the couch (another reason why I don't like to clean). I asked him about it last night. I told him that he was the "King of Broken Promises". Which he really is. I mean for Mother's Day, I got 2 kid free days (not hours days) to be redeemed whenever I wanted...see my vent above. It still hasn't happened. He said that he didn't do what he said (clean the kitchen) because he got no help. NO HELP?!?! No where in "Honey, I'm going to clean the kitchen this weekend." was "only if you help me".

I am so tired emotionally and physically. I feel unappreciated, unloved, disappointed, exhausted, overwhelmed and the list could go on and on. I want to get the house cleaned and I mean deep cleaned for Christmas. But that's only going to happen if I do it.

Jeff will get on me about being so tired all the time. He says most days there is no excuse for being so tired because I "didn't do anything." Nope, I don't do anything...I do EVERYTHING. I work, do dishes, wipe hineys, do laundry, chauffeur, make meals, bathe children, grocery shop, plan activities, make his lunch, etc, etc, etc. But I have no excuse to be so tired because I don't do anything.

I just don't know what more I can do or how much longer I can last like this. He says he wants to change and I may see it a little here and there but the big picture never changes. Hes still emotionally unavailable to everyone in this house. He contradicts me at every turn (no wonder my kids don't listen to me). And I'm just really tired of it. To me it doesn't feel like Christmas around here. To me Christmas is love and family and activities. I don't feel like that's going on around here. My home doesn't feel very warm, right now it feels very very cold.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Christmas House

Well I just had to share my newest creation! My Gramma used to make these for Christmas but unfortunately, she has arthritic hands and doesn't crochet much anymore. So I thought to myself..."I can do that. It's not that hard!" Yeah, next time I think that someone slap me. LOL!

I made several panels before I finally got it down. I had to go out and buy a new needle and a new hole puncher. I made templates but ended up not using them. My hands cramped up because if you have ever tried to crochet on a card, in a straight line, it's hard. I now really appreciate everything it took my Gramma to make these. I'll probably make it again, now that I have got the hang of it. But dang, this took A LOT of time and hand-stretches.

Mommy is Santa Real?

"Mommy, is Santa real?" That is something as a parent, I dreaded to hear. I didn't want Kylie to question whether or not Santa was real just yet. I mean, shes 5 years old! But, yesterday she asked me the question.

I have been mulling over how to answer that question for a long time. I knew it would come up eventually and like most parents I don't want to lie to my child about something like Santa. So, I answered her as truthfully as I could without telling her that Santa the person is not real.

We sat down with her little sister on the couch and read "Yes, Virginia there is a Santa Claus". After I was done reading it to her, I explained that as long as there are people out there who are willing to give to others, that Santa Claus will always exist because Santa is the spirit of giving. We talked about the true meaning of the holiday season and why it's important to give to others this time of year. That it's not about toys and presents that we get, it's about what we can give to others and what we can do for them. Then we read a story about the birth of Jesus, and used that as a spring board to talk about God's gift to us all.

So I guessed I used the dread question as a way to open up dialog with Kylie about the true meaning of Christmas. We talked about how important it is to give to those in need this holiday season and lets face it there are a lot of people in need right now. We talked about how important it was that we participated in Operation Christmas Child and the annual Westside Moms Adopt a Family and even giving our canned goods to the church today as part of their annual Christmas food drive. About why we give to the Salvation Army this time of year. All that stuff is what Christmas is really about. It's about giving of yourself to others just as God gave His one and only son to us so that we may be saved.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Building Sentences and Learning to Read

So I have been trying to work with Kylie and her reading skills. Lately we have been playing a game either in the car or with our fridge magnets where I sound out a word and she spells it. Its been working pretty well I have to say but I found this online the other day as I was surfing around blogland.

You really have to take a look at that website. Its fabulous!

Anywho, so I decided that I could make one. Unfortunately, I don't have magnets or a magnet board. I also don't have a laminator but I do have felt so this is what I made.



The words go along with a beginning reader story she has called "We Jump". I added some words because the book is pretty simple but she is very excited now that she has it.

Today is the official start of Christmas break so, its definitely a tool that we are going to use for the next two weeks! I'll update on her progress as we go along.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Living Under a Blessing and Not a Curse

Faith is a powerful thing. The bible defines faith as "being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1 NIV

"Sure" and "Certain" are key words there. Sure and Certain of what we hope for but cannot see. You can't see it. You can't feel it. But you know it's there and working for you. That's faith.

But why is faith so powerful? Jesus said, "According to your faith will it be done to you." Matthew 9:29b NIV. Another version says this,"Become what you believe." The Message Wow, become what you believe. That's powerful!

Let's think about that for a while. Becoming what you believe. Now that can be a positive or a negative thing. If you envision only good things for yourself, isn't that whats going to come your way? Good things? If you envision only bad for yourself, isn't that whats going to find you?

Jeff and I have very different outlooks on things. He has let his disappointments beat him down to the point where he expects the worst and usually gets it. I on the other hand try to see good things happening. I hold onto the belief that God will deliver me from my circumstances in His time. Though I want that deliverance now, this is my season of struggle. I'm learning something, maybe empathy, who knows. But this is a season for me to learn and grow. Things can't be peach pie all the time. Inevitably, life has it's ups and downs. Monsoons and droughts right? Granted, I'm not always thinking about the positive. My frame of mind isn't always God-focused. But my faith, that God is bigger than my current circumstances, gets me through the day.

You can believe for the best and not get it, but isnt it better to believe for the best and not get it than to run around with a defeatest attitude all the time?

Jeffs attitude can be very contagious. It's very easy to live in a sour state of mind when things aren't going your way. It's much harder to live with the faith that God will deliver you from all of this. That even though it's hard right now, it's not going to be soon (soon for us and soon for God are relative things). Sometimes I do allow Jeffs attitude to affect me. It did earlier today. These past couple of months have been really hard on all of us. But I know, I mean really know, deep down in my soul that things are going to get better. I hold onto that belief for dear life. It's what gets me through the day. I just wish that my husband could share that with me sometimes. Its hard to live with someone who is always so worried about everything. I know that things are going to work out for us. I just wish that he could know that too. I guess thats what seperates someone who believes versus someone who doesn't. And I'm not just talking about Christians. I mean anyone who believes in something greater. Holding onto that belief, that faith that there is something greater than your circumstances that is working for your good 24/7 is extremely comforting especially when times are hardest.

Okay end rant, off my soap box now. ;)

Monday, December 15, 2008

Snowy Day Craft Project.

So yesterday I spent most of the day behind my sewing machine. My girls were driving me nuts and Jeff was well... being Jeff. So I decided to be creative and ignore the rest. So this is what I made.




Booties for Kaitlynn



A Leapster holder for Kylie and a holder for her games



All very girlie and pink.

The little bag, I made from a pattern that I created. I saw a bag that was similar online and as I stared at it I thought, "hey I can make that!" I also saw some nesting boxes on that site that I think I'm going to try to make as well.

I downloaded the pattern for the booties off of a website I found. I'll have to post the link later. I'm on Jeffs computer right now...

I also made Kaitlynn princess jammies. It looks like those magistrate dresses. Unfortunately right now shes sleeping in it so I can't take a picture of it. It's so cute and I'll post the link for that later as well.

Happy Crafting!

Sunday, December 14, 2008

More Food Saving Ideas

In the spirit of my last post, I thought I would share this great blog called $5.00 Dinners.

Not only does she have some great money saving advice but she also includes recipes for creating great meals that are $5.00 total to create or less.

I haven't personally tried any of her recipes but I enjoy reading her blog.

What Does it Cost to Eat in America?

Okay so I have some extra time on my hands today. I decided not to go to church this morning after one look at the unploughed roads here in Fountain. Jeff actually drove to Safeway earlier because he was in desperate need of nicotine. Crazy person. He said that the roads are really bad and told me to stay home. I wasn't going to argue. Anyways I digress...

Yesterday, I ran across this website after watching an Internet broadcast of Fox and Friends. Its called One Dollar Diet Project. These two teachers decided to try an experiment. They wanted to see if the could eat for $1.00 a day per person for an entire month. Sounds crazy right. They blogged about their experiences. He lost weight (15lbs), they both were cranky, tired and irritable but they did it for an entire month. Why? Because people all over the world live on $1.00 of food a day. They were talking about how much food they wasted on a daily basis and wanted to see if they could live off of one dollar a day. So they tried it for a whole month and they were thankful when that month ended. So that got me thinking. How much do I spend in a month just on groceries.

Well, as I said before, my budget is $60.00 a week. Sometimes I spend a little more sometimes I spend a little less but it usually evens out to $60.00 a week. If you break that down per person, you come out with $15.00 per person, per week which is about $2.14 per day. Not too bad right? Granted two of the people in the house are tiny but they still eat A LOT. Just for breakfast today, Kylie ate 1 egg, a biscuit, a glass of homemade chocolate milk (milk, 1/2 tbsp baking cocoa and 1 1/2 tbsp powdered sugar) and about a half a can of fruit salad. Kaitlynn also had an egg, fruit salad and a biscuit. So they maybe tiny but they are not little eaters.

For $2.14 a day, we have plenty of fruits and veggies. Granted the veggies are mostly the frozen variety and the fruit mostly the canned. We have snacks, hot breakfasts, desserts. We have meat which is mostly cheaper cuts but its still meat. We eat really well for $2.14 a day per person. Most of that money is funneled into dinner. Breakfasts and lunches cost a lot less. We are not malnourished and no one here is losing any weight (yet, check back with me when the national body challenge starts next month).

A typical day for us looks something like this...

Breakfast

Either oatmeal in some form (baked or cooked with flax and cranberries, if its cooked instead of baked I usually throw some canned pumpkin in there) or eggs (we like green eggs: spinach, eggs and garlic pulsed in a food processor and then scrambled in the pan) and toast both served with some kind of fruit.

Lunch

Its a smattering of different things but always includes some kind of fruit: either apples, oranges or something from the can; and a veggie: carrot sticks, frozen peas and carrots or corn. The main dish varies from sandwiches (PB & J for Kylie, Sunbutter and Jelly for Kaitlynn who is allergic to peanuts), to chicken nuggets, leftovers from dinner the night before, soup (if I serve soup, I don't usually include a veggie side)

Dinner

Also a variety of things. I get bored easily with food so I try to vary the kinds of foods I make. I posted about the soup I made the other night. On Kylie's birthday (this past Thursday), I made spaghetti. We had this with warm pears (29oz canned pears in their syrup throw into a 425 degree oven with a little cinnamon sprinkled on top) and my quick greens recipe (I used frozen green beans this time. Green beans cooked in chicken broth with garlic, 2 pieces of chopped fried bacon, garlic powder, onion powder, and garlic pepper. YUM!) The price of this dinner?

Spaghetti
Sauce: $1.00 (purchased on sale)
Noodles: $.88 (purchased in bulk at Sam's Club)
1/2 lb ground beef: $1.50
1/2 chopped onion: $.02 (a 3 lb bag bought on sale for $1.00 6 onions in the bag)
1 tsp minced garlic: $.02 (1 jar of minced garlic bought for $1.00, 48 tsp in a jar)

Pears
29oz can of pears: $1.00 (purchased on sale last week)
Cinnamon: ? (I really couldn't tell you how much cinnamon I used so I can't really determine a price but I just sprinkled a little on top and the jar of cinnamon cost me about $1.25 at Walmart)

Green Beans
16oz frozen Green Beans: $1.00 (purchased on sale)
1 tsp minced garlic: $.02
1 can chicken broth: $.39
2 pieces of bacon: $0.16 (purchased on sale for $1.77, 21 pieces in a packages)
Spices: again, I don't know the quantities I used so I can't tell you exactly how much they cost.

Total price for dinner approximately: $5.99 or $1.50 per person, a lot less if you include that we had a lot of leftovers. It probably ended up factoring to more like $.75 a person just because we had 1/2 of everything leftover after we were done eating. We had enough food leftover for the girls to have it again for dinner on Friday and for Jeff to take the majority of it to work with him for lunch the next day.


So okay, typical long winded Kristi. My point is that $1.00 a day in our economic climate is extreme. Most people around the world live on $1.00 a day because they grow or gather their own foods, raise their own animals for meat or hunt for it. So meat costs them nothing to very little and the same goes for vegetables and fruits. It takes time and not much money but you are subject to low food supplies during times of extreme weather. I think in a truer $1.00 a day experiment, they should have grown some of their own foods. They would have been able to eat well while maintaining their budget. It would be interesting if they did this again but planned on starting a garden in spring. I wonder what their food intake would look like then.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

When You Give a Dork a Leapster

So Kylie's birthday was Thursday and she got a brand new shiny pink Leapster (from my Dad) and some games.

When you give a dork a Leapster, this is what you find on Saturday morning when you get up...

Yes she is sitting in a rubbermaid bin

Yes Virginia she is sitting in a Rubbermaid bin...

The Saturday after her birthday

Then this is what happens when you give another dork some empty toilet paper rolls.

This is what happens when you give a dork some toilet paper rolls

Yes, my children are very strange. But at least Kylie is enjoying her birthday present. She just will not put that Leapster down.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

What Could Giving Look Like?

"Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. As it is written:

'He has scattered abroad his gifts to the poor; his righteousness endures forever'"

2 Corinthians 9: 6-9 (NIV)


I have been thinking a lot about the topic of giving lately. Christmas time is called the season of giving because it is at this time of year that God gave us his son. What bigger gift could anyone receive than the gift of salvation but, what does giving look like today, right now in this economic climate?

The Salvation Army is reporting that they aren't receiving as many donations this year. People everywhere are looking for help because of job loss and other financial hardships. But this is the time no matter what our financial circumstances that we really need to be out there helping those in need.

I am not financially secure by any means. Jeff comes home the other day and tells me that his temp job is about to end. My hours at work have been cut drastically. This past month I have made half of what I normally make. But I give. I give what I can, when I can. It may not be much, but it's something. And this got me thinking, if everyone gave "just a little something", what would that look like?

If everyone in the state of Colorado (over the age of 18) gave a dollar to the Salvation Army, they would collect $3,592,037 during the holiday season. Can you believe that? If everyone in this country over the age of 18 gave a dollar to the Salvation Army, they would collect $225,084,715!!! Really what is a dollar? What do you waste a dollar on? I personally am guilty of wasting a dollar on Sausage Biscuit and Egg sandwiches at Burger King, coffee at 7-11, and buying things that clutter my home at the dollar store.

With the need so great this year, if everyone just in Colorado Springs (over the age of 18), donated a dollar to Care and Share Food Bank it would total $292,889. How many hungry people would that feed?

I don't presume to know anyone's situation. But the fact is that even if you and everyone around you gave just a small amount, it adds up. If 6 people got together and each gave $5.00, that would total $30.00 which is what a Christmas food basket costs from either Angel Food Ministries or Share Colorado. Those 6 people, with their limited funds could provide a nice dinner for a family in need.

The economic situation has me reconsidering what I spend my money on. Yes, money is tight here as it is for many people but you shouldn't be reconsidering your giving. Maybe you can't give as much as you did last year but I'm sure that even if you can't contribute financially, you can certainly give that sweater in your closet that hasn't fit in 2 years or those canned goods that you bought 6 months ago that you still haven't eaten. There is always something that you can do even if you can't give monetarily. Give your time. There are so many people who are alone this time of year, especially Seniors that just maybe want a friend. Give what you can give to others but most importantly do so cheerfully. Give from your heart and not because you feel obligated to. But I can tell you something, once you start giving its going to make you feel so good that you aren't going to want to stop.

**I found all the population statistics on www.census.gov

Monday, December 8, 2008

Eating Well on a VERY Tight Budget

You know yesterday I had the realization that I have been eating like total and utter crap lately. My tummy is bulging, I'm tired, I'm short of breath and I look pregnant (fortunately for me, when I gain weight its all in my tummy area).

So I started to think about how I could start eating better but still maintain my budget. Jeff certainly won't eat well. He doesn't like "rabbit" food. And with a $60.00 a week budget for 4 people, I have to buy the cheap cuts of everything to make the money stretch.

Well tonight, I made a great soup. I mean a GREAT soup. Totally from scratch. And it is good for me too! Chicken Tortilla soup. Well a variation of it using what I had on hand. I haven't gone grocery shopping since the Sunday after Thanksgiving so I'm trying to make whatever we have stretch until I get a chance to go again.

Also, I wanted to have some tortilla with the soup but I used the last of my tortillas Saturday to make the girls some chimichangas for lunch. So I made some. Yep, made some from scratch. To top it all off, I have some "baked" oatmeal going in the crock pot for tomorrow morning. If I have breakfast on hand, then I won't be tempted to stop at Burger King and take advantage of their dollar breakfast menu tomorrow.

I don't know why I'm so proud. Many people make their meals from scratch everyday. Its just not done so much in the Western world I guess. We can go to the store and buy soup in a can and tortillas in a plastic bag. But there is just something satisfying about making something yourself from scratch.

Now I'm tired. But its a good tired. I cleaned my kitchen, made a great dinner and I still have some oomph left to make a pumpkin pie tonight and some rice krispies treats. Jeff needs snacks for work or he will buy some.

Oh and sorry for the pic. I'm no Pioneer Woman when it comes to picture taking.

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Oh my. I just had to update. I just put away the "baked" oatmeal and of course I had to taste it to make sure that it wasn't poisoned. :) It was SOOOO yummy! This recipe is a MUST TRY! Its so easy and its definitely something that you can eat on the go in the car. When you break it into portions some of it crumbles and you can use that over yogurt. Oh my. Its so good! I know that tomorrow morning my girls are just going to love it.

Its easier for me to just feed them in the car when we drive up to drop Jeff off at work. It makes my morning less harried.

Oh and this recipe is cheap cheap cheap. I already had everything I needed in the fridge or pantry. Yep, I keep flax meal on hand. You mix it all in the crock pot and then forget about it for 4 hours. Mine took 4 hours though the recipe says 3-5. I would recommend though letting it cool completely before you break it off into portions so it stays together more and doesn't crumble as much.. I was to excited to wait. It would have been a good idea to put the entire crock insert into the fridge and just break it into portions tomorrow morning. But I was impatient. Oh well, it still tastes yummy.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Crappy Start Great Finish

Okay so this week started on not so high of a note but, I have to say that it ended well.

So I was in church today like I am every Sunday and I had a revelation. I know that Circle Drive Baptist is the place for me to be. I don't really consider myself a baptist more just a general christian but, when I walk into the sanctuary, I feel...happy.

No matter how badly my day starts off, going to church makes me feel happy. I'm thinking now and I don't really know if any other church has truly made me feel happy when I walk through the door. Inspired, convicted, appreciative, guilty (yep, I have been to those kind of churches) maybe but not really happy. I had a though morning today. I just couldn't drag myself out of bed, Kylie was a bundle of energy and questions the minute I set my tired feet on the ground. That is just not cool when you are A. tired and B. have not yet had a cup of coffee. Kaitlynn was fussy. Kylie was argumentative. My face turned red and the thought of locking them both in the basement until Christmas crossed my mind. But then I realized the Christmas presents were down there. I frantically made breakfast, showered, got dressed and ran out the door at 10:48 (keep in mind that church starts at 11 and it usually takes me 20 minutes to get there). So it was a harried morning to say the least. But, when I dropped Kylie off at children's church, I see smiling faces. When I walk up the stairs to the sanctuary, I see smiling faces and people telling me "Good Morning". I walk into the sanctuary, and I see the beautifully decorated Living Christmas tree and I just felt, happy.

No matter what is going on in my life, financial difficulty, marital difficulty, feelings of loneliness and wanting to run away from it all, when I get to church it all seems to go away and I can truly focus on what should always be first in my life...God. I think that for me, God tends to get lost sometimes in the trials of the week. That should not happen I know. I should be God-minded all the time. But in the reality of this world that is hard. But, I am working on it. I realized this morning that when I am God-minded, no matter what my circumstances, I am truly happy. So that's why, being at church makes me truly happy. I can focus on what is really important. Focus on God and He will take care of the rest.

So speaking of The Living Christmas tree. I hear its a great time and if anyone wants to go, I picked up extra tickets today. Just let me know!

Thursday, December 4, 2008

McCrafty Strikes again!

I made another dress. This is Kaitlynn's Christmas dress! I am so proud of myself. This one came out much better than Kylie's only because the first time I make something it usually doesn't come out all that great. You learn from your mistakes right? I am so loving this one. This cranberry red color is one of my favorites and it seems so festive, don't you think?

This time, I got to make the dress pretty much in piece. Kylie was in the corner and Kaitlynn was napping. Lets just say, it was one of those days for Kylie. I think she may have waxy build up again because she just can't seem to do as shes told. Which started this morning. But oh well, at least her confinement to the corner meant that I could make the dress and really concentrate on it and not hear every 5 minutes, "Mommy, what are you doing?" "Mommy are you making something?" "Mommy can I stand here and watch you?" "But I just want to be with you!!!" "Mommy can I have some eggnog?" "Mommy I need a snack" yep, I could go on and on but I shall spare you. Just imagine someone saying one of these things or several at a time to you every 5 minutes. And she wonders why I lose patience with her.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Catharsis

Crafting is so cathartic for me. Especially when it comes to sewing and crocheting. They are both so exact. They both require my complete focus and concentration. They both allow me to have a creative outlet that I so desperately need when times are rough. And both hobbies are fairly cheap. Great when you are on a tight budget (This entire dress cost me well under $5.00). Plus they both offer a sense of accomplishment. When I am feeling like I keep treading water and I'm not going anywhere crafting helps me feel like I'm actually productive. That I'm actually finishing something and it looks great.

This is my very first pillow case dress. I made it for Kylie's birthday. She wanted a special dress to wear for her birthday and not having much money, I decided to make her one. I found some great instructions online and a very nice person forwarded me the pattern for the arm holes and I plodded ahead. I think it turned out pretty well. I am very proud of myself. Kylie picked out the fabric and I created it. I can't stop looking at the dress and let me tell you when I put it on her, she just glowed. I'm also in the process of creating them sister Christmas dresses with the same pattern. I have a great plain red fabric for the top and the bottom is going to be this blue background bell pattern with the word "joy" all over it. Its going to be great! I can't wait to finish them.

Don't worry I did get them turtle necks to go under their dresses. Its winter for crying out loud you know! ;)

Monday, December 1, 2008

It's Just Crap-Tastic

So, it's 723am and I have already had a crappy morning. No not because of my children...

This morning I set my alarm to 530am. Not because I needed to wake up that early but because I wanted to make sure that Jeff got to work on time today. The last 2 weeks I have found that if I don't set my alarm to get up early, Jeff will not get up. Lately, it has been my responsibility (it feels like) to make sure that he gets up for work. Why? He's 29 years old, he should be able to get himself up for work right? Nope. Even while he was in the military I would still have to get up early to make sure that he would get up for work.

He's supposed to be at work by 7am. So he needs to leave the house by 630am to make it to work on time. Preferably he should leave at 615am because of morning traffic but that rarely happens. So, I get up not at 530am but at 5am because he set his alarm to go off at 5am. And every time the alarm goes off, I shake him. He grunts, hits snooze and goes back to sleep. The alarm goes off every 15 minutes. Finally after an hour and a half of the stupid alarm going off (I'm not kidding, I rolled out of bed at 630am), I get up. Everytime I shake him to wake him up he tells me, "Don't worry about it." or "It's not a big deal". So, trying to calm myself down I walk out to the living room to check my email, which of course would not load this morning. At 645am I walk back into the bedroom (he's supposed to be at work in 15 minutes) and I ask him, "So what time do you want to get up so I can make sure that I wake you up". At this point he starts to go off about how he doesn't want to get up because I'm going to be in a "grouchy ass" mood. I didn't even ask him the question in a snide way. I just point blank asked him what time he wanted to get up and that started us off on an agrument this morning. He went off on a tirade about how I'm a "bitch" and I'm always "tired". I told him that I didn't have to get up at 530am I just set my alarm to make sure that I could get him up. And it went on and on. Until I threw a loaf of bread at him and he slammed the door this morning before he left for work, finally, at 720am.

But this is the way things have been between us lately. When things are good they are just all right. When things are bad they are REALLY bad. I try to avoid arguments by just sitting in my bedroom when we are home together. I try not to talk to him about what is bothering me because he always turns it around on me and makes me feel ridiculous and stupid for feeling neglected, offended, hurt or upset. I try just to leave him alone. If I leave him alone, we don't fight and things stay relatively peaceful...sometimes. He will still get on me about not spending time with the kids. I ALWAYS spend time with the kids. I take Kaitlynn to work with me for crying out loud. Everywhere I go tote one or both of the kids with me. Just cause I don't want them up my rear when I'm at home and trying to get stuff done doesn't mean that I am not spending time with them. Or, he will get on me about not cleaning the house. Granted, I have absolutely no motivation to clean. But no one in this house seems to either. The minute I clean the wrecking crew follows behind me to destroy it. Who is that guy in greek mythology that rolls the boulder up the hill everyday just to do it again the next day. Thats the way I feel about cleaning. I accomplish it, but nothing really gets done.

I need a vacation. I need to get away and decompress for a while, by myself. I can't remember the last time I was truly able to get away to relax. I think the last time I got away for myself and just myself to pamper me was spa night last November. And even then I wasn't really able to relax because Jeff had just gotten home from Iraq and was calling me every 15 minutes asking me when I was coming home. Not because he missed me but because Kaitlynn and Kylie were driving him nuts. But I also don't want to get away because with the state that things have been in lately, I may never come back.

I get so tired of my life sometimes. I am not happy. I have not been happy for a long time and I don't know how to change it. My marriage is miserable and I take it out on the kids by ignoring them or yelling at them when they do the slightest thing wrong. I really want my marriage to work. I want to be able to fix it. We have two children and have been together for 8 years. I want it to work but sometimes we try to hold on to something that God is trying to seperate us from. (One of my favorite lines from "Diary of a Mad Black Woman"). But I pray and I don't know what Gods will is for me and this situation. Maybe I am so focused on what is going on around me that I can't hear what God is trying to tell me.

So why am I blogging about this? Well because other than God, I have no one to talk to and blogging can be very cathardic. I feel lost right now and very much alone. I know that God is always here, listening. But sometimes you just want someone else with you. A good friend that you can trust. Someone physical that you know will make you laugh or give you good advice when times are tough. I'm sorry to say that I don't really have that right now. I haven't had that for a while now, not since one of my friends moved to the DC area.

I just want to effect a positive change in my life but right now I just don't know how to do that. I am tired of feeling alone and lost. I am sick of not feeling loved. I am just tired and I want to go back to bed but, I have to make breakfast for my kids.