Matchy Matchy

Okay so I don't know if "matchy" is a word but, Kylie really wanted to buy her doll a dress today. But for the same price as it would cost to buy one doll dress, I could make her and her doll 2 sets of matching dresses. So I gave her the choice and she chose to have me make the dresses. Didn't they turn out great? Its a modified version of a pillowcase dress and I have to say that I like this version so much better than the regular pillowcase dress with the ribbon. The ones that you make with the ribbon are pretty and everything but you have to stress about making sure the ribbon is even on both sides, if they stretch while you are putting it on, you have to start again...its just drama. This version is so much easier and I think it looks so cute!

For Kylie's dress and her dolls dress (plus scrunchies for both) it just took one yard of fabric, a little bit of elastic, one package of bias tape and one package of ric-rac. It was pretty easy and I really like the results and from the look on Kylie's face, so does she! One down, one more to go! Tomorrow, I'm putting together her pink camouflage dress...oy! I have created a monster. :)

She wants to wear this tomorrow...as long as she has a jacket on I'm fine with it.

The Best Christmas Present...

Christmas morning, Kaitlynn didn't know what to make of it. She stood in front of it totally confused. What was it? Is it for me? What do I do with it? Well right after she was done opening her presents, she found out exactly what it was! She took off and disappeared into this wondrous present for an hour and a half and didn't come out. She absolutely LOVES it! She just doesn't like sharing it.

Christmas morning, Kylie blows through the baby gate that I set up and peaks into the living room (just to make sure that there are presents under the tree) then bounces down the hall into my room and whispers in my ear, "Mommy, I got a Rose Petal Cottage for Christmas". This was responded too by me with "Kylie, you knocked over the baby gate? Go back to your room and wait for Mommy and Daddy to get up."

She waited with baited anticipation. She wanted to play with that cottage. She has seen it on Jon and Kate plus 8 and she really really REALLY wanted one. Well because she decided to make some bad decisions that morning (apart from blowing through the baby gate), she didn't get to play with it until after nap time. But when she finally got in there, we lost her for about an hour as well.

This has been the hit of all the Christmas presents. Forget the Bob books, the tea set, the barbies or the babies. Forget about all that stuff (well Kaitlynn does love her baby) and you still have two very happy little girls because of this AWESOME playhouse and one very generous Grandpa.

My Dad sent a check for the girls for Christmas. So I went out and did some bargain shopping. I found this Rose Petal Cottage on Craigslist for $75. I got the cottage and the stove (which is standard when you buy it new). But I also got the sink, the nursery, play food, a baby doll, a wicker basket for the food and a blanket for the baby doll. I got a SCREAMING deal on this thing and I have to say that it's the best present. This thing is so big that I can fit inside. Jeff even said how cool this thing was when we were setting it up at 3am. It is AWESOME! I cannot say that enough. I just throw them in there and they happily play until one of them takes the others plate or pan or something and then one of them needs a time out. Everyone needs a Rose Petal Cottage! It's entertainment for girls of all ages. :)

Merry Christmas Everyone!

From my disfunctional family to yours :) ...Merry Christmas!!!

Gingerbread Latte

Today on Crockpot 365, the Crockpot Lady made some Gingerbread Lattes.

It sounded good to me. I hadn't had my coffee yet but,

#1. Like ground ginger...in moderation

#2. I already had some cider going in my crockpot.

#3. I like my coffee sweet.

and

#4. I would be the only one drinking it so I know that I didn't need to make a whole lot of it

so this is how I adjusted her recipe:

Gingerbread Latte

2 C milk
1/2 C sugar
1/2 tsp ground ginger
1 tsp vanilla
1 tsp cinnamon
1/8 tsp cloves
1/8 tsp ground nutmeg

Put all ingredients into a saucepan. Heat the saucepan on high and start whisking your ingredients. Heat on high for 5 minutes or until the milk is warmed through, the spices are fragrant and the mixture is nice and frothy.

In a coffee mug mix

1/2 tbsp instant coffee
3/4 C water

stir to combine

Pour 1 C of hot milk mixture over your coffee and stir to combine.

Garnish with whipped cream and ground nutmeg or cinnamon if desired.

Enjoy.

This came out so YUMMY! Let me tell you. I think this might beat out eggnog now as my holiday drink of choice. Its rich and warming with just a little hint of ginger and just a little ginger heat on the back of your throat as you sip away. This would be fabulous with those Choco-Orange Cookies I posted about yesterday.

Crockpot Mulled "Cider"

Okay so this recipe is just too good to keep to myself.

I made this the other day and I'm making another batch in the crock right now. Its so easy and so yummy. Kylie said that she will not drink any other cider. She didn't like the cider we got at Starbucks the other day but she said that she just LOVES my homemade cider.

Well it's not technically cider because its made from apple juice (thus the quotation marks around cider) but its still so good and nice on a cold day.





Kristi's Crockpot Mulled "Cider"

1 can of frozen apple juice concentrate prepared according to instructions
1 tsp orange zest
1 cinnamon stick
10 whole cloves
1/4 tsp ground nutmeg
1 tbsp brown sugar

Combine all the ingredients in your crockpot and cook on high for 2 hours. Serve warm.

So good, so easy! I make this in my 1.5 qt crockpot. If you make it in a larger crockpot I would double the recipe.

And bonus, not only does it taste good but it makes your house smell like the holidays.

The Best Cookies EVER!!!

Okay so maybe not the BEST cookies ever but they are my new favorite cookies.

I was mixing up a double batch of 4-in-1 Cookie Dough last night. Of course I had lost the recipe...again. And I had to look it up on the Kraftfoods website. Well it seems like they always have different variations at the bottom. There are so many different cookies you can make with this one dough. Well I decided to try a new variation with these cookies. The Choco-Orange cookies.

Can I just say...OMG YUM!!!! These are so good. I didn't really think I would jive on the chocolate and orange combo but it is just out of this world.

I swirled the chocolate on the cookies and they are just delightful. A must try this holiday season.

Oh and btw, this cookie dough recipe makes you look like a total rock star. With one double batch of dough I made the Choco-Orange cookies, Traditional sugar cookies with Christmas Sprinkles and Apricot Thumb prints (and didn't even use up all the dough). You can make so many more though. Jeff really likes the Pinwheel variation.

Try it today and I promise, your family will love you for it. FYI, this dough also makes fabulous cut-outs.

Vent...

I usually love Mondays. Its the one day a week that I don't have to get up early. It's the one day a week where I am not plagued with the thought of Jeff sitting out in the living room like a lump, playing his game. Its the one day a week where I don't have to drive back and forth all over town.

I love Mondays...usually.

Today was different. It started off with Jeff not getting up for his alarm. He was an hour late for work and just announced that he was not going to work today. Not going to work? But today is Monday, its my day! Then I stepped back and thought about why I was so upset. Most women, would love for their husbands to take a day off of work. But most women are not me. I just sat in bed and thought about my plans for the day. I was going to clean. I know, so exciting right? Well the reason I don't like to clean is that I HATE, to clean around Jeff. That's right, around him. He will sit there on his laptop and pay absolutely no attention to me or offer help, or help when I ask him to because hes playing his game. That's so much more important to him. He says that he could care less about his game or the people he chats with everyday online, but to me, his actions reflect differently. When he's on his laptop, he ignores his children and he ignores me. He pays no attention to them or anything around him.

Dads are supposed to play with their kids, want to be involved, take them places, spend time with them. Jeff has only taken both of his girls somewhere ONCE. That was my birthday, June 8th. He took them to the store to buy cake mix to make me a birthday cake (while I took a nap). That's it. It was not a fun outing. It was an errand. When I plan fun family outings, he complains the whole time. He gives me a hard time about it and then ruins it for everyone with his sullen attitude. Except on Halloween, but that's because he was hoping to get some personal favors from me when we got home, and because I was exhausted by the time I got home and didn't perform, he didn't speak to me for 3 days.

He says that we have no money to do anything fun with the girls. But all of the outings I plan are free. He could always take them to the park, so I can get some kid free time (I'm with one or both of them EVERYDAY ALL THE TIME, heck, Kaitlynn comes to work with me so that isn't even kid free). We have a brand new park walking distance from our house. But he doesn't like to be around people, so going anywhere is out of the question.

He even got pissed off when he took Kylie to the store to shop for my Christmas present. All because he didn't know what I liked or what I was into (he even said this about Kylie). To me that statement says that he just flat out doesn't pay attention and doesn't care.

I get a movie for us to watch together and he watches it without me.

And the worst part is that I let all of this ruin my day. Its hard when hes yelling at me this morning, because he can't find the car keys (when they were hanging up on the rack). Or telling me that I'm harassing him because he didn't want to go to work. I didn't say anything to him. He told me to go back to sleep this morning but when the girls are both awake and I've been listening to his alarm since 5am, its kinda hard to go back to sleep. By me getting up this morning after I was "told" to go back to sleep, was like a slap in the face for him I guess. He "tells" me something and I'm supposed to jump. I ask him something and it takes hours to days to months to get a response from him.

He constantly breaks promises. He told me that I could sleep in on Saturday. I NEVER get to sleep in (I get the occasional 1 hour nap here or there but never sleep in, not even on my birthday). I let him sleep in because I'm being considerate. He has a hard time falling asleep (he has insomnia) so when he finally does go to sleep, I try to let him do just that. But I didn't get to sleep in on Saturday. Had I tried to wake him up, he would have been upset so I just got up, made everyone breakfast like I normally do and just let him sleep. He said he would clean the kitchen for me this weekend, that didn't happen. He didn't even clean his pee bottles out of the living room. Yes, pee bottles. My husband is a 5 year old and is too lazy to get up to go to the bathroom and will pee in empty bottles and shove them under the couch (another reason why I don't like to clean). I asked him about it last night. I told him that he was the "King of Broken Promises". Which he really is. I mean for Mother's Day, I got 2 kid free days (not hours days) to be redeemed whenever I wanted...see my vent above. It still hasn't happened. He said that he didn't do what he said (clean the kitchen) because he got no help. NO HELP?!?! No where in "Honey, I'm going to clean the kitchen this weekend." was "only if you help me".

I am so tired emotionally and physically. I feel unappreciated, unloved, disappointed, exhausted, overwhelmed and the list could go on and on. I want to get the house cleaned and I mean deep cleaned for Christmas. But that's only going to happen if I do it.

Jeff will get on me about being so tired all the time. He says most days there is no excuse for being so tired because I "didn't do anything." Nope, I don't do anything...I do EVERYTHING. I work, do dishes, wipe hineys, do laundry, chauffeur, make meals, bathe children, grocery shop, plan activities, make his lunch, etc, etc, etc. But I have no excuse to be so tired because I don't do anything.

I just don't know what more I can do or how much longer I can last like this. He says he wants to change and I may see it a little here and there but the big picture never changes. Hes still emotionally unavailable to everyone in this house. He contradicts me at every turn (no wonder my kids don't listen to me). And I'm just really tired of it. To me it doesn't feel like Christmas around here. To me Christmas is love and family and activities. I don't feel like that's going on around here. My home doesn't feel very warm, right now it feels very very cold.

Christmas House

Well I just had to share my newest creation! My Gramma used to make these for Christmas but unfortunately, she has arthritic hands and doesn't crochet much anymore. So I thought to myself..."I can do that. It's not that hard!" Yeah, next time I think that someone slap me. LOL!

I made several panels before I finally got it down. I had to go out and buy a new needle and a new hole puncher. I made templates but ended up not using them. My hands cramped up because if you have ever tried to crochet on a card, in a straight line, it's hard. I now really appreciate everything it took my Gramma to make these. I'll probably make it again, now that I have got the hang of it. But dang, this took A LOT of time and hand-stretches.

Mommy is Santa Real?

"Mommy, is Santa real?" That is something as a parent, I dreaded to hear. I didn't want Kylie to question whether or not Santa was real just yet. I mean, shes 5 years old! But, yesterday she asked me the question.

I have been mulling over how to answer that question for a long time. I knew it would come up eventually and like most parents I don't want to lie to my child about something like Santa. So, I answered her as truthfully as I could without telling her that Santa the person is not real.

We sat down with her little sister on the couch and read "Yes, Virginia there is a Santa Claus". After I was done reading it to her, I explained that as long as there are people out there who are willing to give to others, that Santa Claus will always exist because Santa is the spirit of giving. We talked about the true meaning of the holiday season and why it's important to give to others this time of year. That it's not about toys and presents that we get, it's about what we can give to others and what we can do for them. Then we read a story about the birth of Jesus, and used that as a spring board to talk about God's gift to us all.

So I guessed I used the dread question as a way to open up dialog with Kylie about the true meaning of Christmas. We talked about how important it is to give to those in need this holiday season and lets face it there are a lot of people in need right now. We talked about how important it was that we participated in Operation Christmas Child and the annual Westside Moms Adopt a Family and even giving our canned goods to the church today as part of their annual Christmas food drive. About why we give to the Salvation Army this time of year. All that stuff is what Christmas is really about. It's about giving of yourself to others just as God gave His one and only son to us so that we may be saved.

Building Sentences and Learning to Read

So I have been trying to work with Kylie and her reading skills. Lately we have been playing a game either in the car or with our fridge magnets where I sound out a word and she spells it. Its been working pretty well I have to say but I found this online the other day as I was surfing around blogland.

You really have to take a look at that website. Its fabulous!

Anywho, so I decided that I could make one. Unfortunately, I don't have magnets or a magnet board. I also don't have a laminator but I do have felt so this is what I made.



The words go along with a beginning reader story she has called "We Jump". I added some words because the book is pretty simple but she is very excited now that she has it.

Today is the official start of Christmas break so, its definitely a tool that we are going to use for the next two weeks! I'll update on her progress as we go along.

Living Under a Blessing and Not a Curse

Faith is a powerful thing. The bible defines faith as "being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1 NIV

"Sure" and "Certain" are key words there. Sure and Certain of what we hope for but cannot see. You can't see it. You can't feel it. But you know it's there and working for you. That's faith.

But why is faith so powerful? Jesus said, "According to your faith will it be done to you." Matthew 9:29b NIV. Another version says this,"Become what you believe." The Message Wow, become what you believe. That's powerful!

Let's think about that for a while. Becoming what you believe. Now that can be a positive or a negative thing. If you envision only good things for yourself, isn't that whats going to come your way? Good things? If you envision only bad for yourself, isn't that whats going to find you?

Jeff and I have very different outlooks on things. He has let his disappointments beat him down to the point where he expects the worst and usually gets it. I on the other hand try to see good things happening. I hold onto the belief that God will deliver me from my circumstances in His time. Though I want that deliverance now, this is my season of struggle. I'm learning something, maybe empathy, who knows. But this is a season for me to learn and grow. Things can't be peach pie all the time. Inevitably, life has it's ups and downs. Monsoons and droughts right? Granted, I'm not always thinking about the positive. My frame of mind isn't always God-focused. But my faith, that God is bigger than my current circumstances, gets me through the day.

You can believe for the best and not get it, but isnt it better to believe for the best and not get it than to run around with a defeatest attitude all the time?

Jeffs attitude can be very contagious. It's very easy to live in a sour state of mind when things aren't going your way. It's much harder to live with the faith that God will deliver you from all of this. That even though it's hard right now, it's not going to be soon (soon for us and soon for God are relative things). Sometimes I do allow Jeffs attitude to affect me. It did earlier today. These past couple of months have been really hard on all of us. But I know, I mean really know, deep down in my soul that things are going to get better. I hold onto that belief for dear life. It's what gets me through the day. I just wish that my husband could share that with me sometimes. Its hard to live with someone who is always so worried about everything. I know that things are going to work out for us. I just wish that he could know that too. I guess thats what seperates someone who believes versus someone who doesn't. And I'm not just talking about Christians. I mean anyone who believes in something greater. Holding onto that belief, that faith that there is something greater than your circumstances that is working for your good 24/7 is extremely comforting especially when times are hardest.

Okay end rant, off my soap box now. ;)

Snowy Day Craft Project.

So yesterday I spent most of the day behind my sewing machine. My girls were driving me nuts and Jeff was well... being Jeff. So I decided to be creative and ignore the rest. So this is what I made.




Booties for Kaitlynn



A Leapster holder for Kylie and a holder for her games



All very girlie and pink.

The little bag, I made from a pattern that I created. I saw a bag that was similar online and as I stared at it I thought, "hey I can make that!" I also saw some nesting boxes on that site that I think I'm going to try to make as well.

I downloaded the pattern for the booties off of a website I found. I'll have to post the link later. I'm on Jeffs computer right now...

I also made Kaitlynn princess jammies. It looks like those magistrate dresses. Unfortunately right now shes sleeping in it so I can't take a picture of it. It's so cute and I'll post the link for that later as well.

Happy Crafting!

More Food Saving Ideas

In the spirit of my last post, I thought I would share this great blog called $5.00 Dinners.

Not only does she have some great money saving advice but she also includes recipes for creating great meals that are $5.00 total to create or less.

I haven't personally tried any of her recipes but I enjoy reading her blog.

What Does it Cost to Eat in America?

Okay so I have some extra time on my hands today. I decided not to go to church this morning after one look at the unploughed roads here in Fountain. Jeff actually drove to Safeway earlier because he was in desperate need of nicotine. Crazy person. He said that the roads are really bad and told me to stay home. I wasn't going to argue. Anyways I digress...

Yesterday, I ran across this website after watching an Internet broadcast of Fox and Friends. Its called One Dollar Diet Project. These two teachers decided to try an experiment. They wanted to see if the could eat for $1.00 a day per person for an entire month. Sounds crazy right. They blogged about their experiences. He lost weight (15lbs), they both were cranky, tired and irritable but they did it for an entire month. Why? Because people all over the world live on $1.00 of food a day. They were talking about how much food they wasted on a daily basis and wanted to see if they could live off of one dollar a day. So they tried it for a whole month and they were thankful when that month ended. So that got me thinking. How much do I spend in a month just on groceries.

Well, as I said before, my budget is $60.00 a week. Sometimes I spend a little more sometimes I spend a little less but it usually evens out to $60.00 a week. If you break that down per person, you come out with $15.00 per person, per week which is about $2.14 per day. Not too bad right? Granted two of the people in the house are tiny but they still eat A LOT. Just for breakfast today, Kylie ate 1 egg, a biscuit, a glass of homemade chocolate milk (milk, 1/2 tbsp baking cocoa and 1 1/2 tbsp powdered sugar) and about a half a can of fruit salad. Kaitlynn also had an egg, fruit salad and a biscuit. So they maybe tiny but they are not little eaters.

For $2.14 a day, we have plenty of fruits and veggies. Granted the veggies are mostly the frozen variety and the fruit mostly the canned. We have snacks, hot breakfasts, desserts. We have meat which is mostly cheaper cuts but its still meat. We eat really well for $2.14 a day per person. Most of that money is funneled into dinner. Breakfasts and lunches cost a lot less. We are not malnourished and no one here is losing any weight (yet, check back with me when the national body challenge starts next month).

A typical day for us looks something like this...

Breakfast

Either oatmeal in some form (baked or cooked with flax and cranberries, if its cooked instead of baked I usually throw some canned pumpkin in there) or eggs (we like green eggs: spinach, eggs and garlic pulsed in a food processor and then scrambled in the pan) and toast both served with some kind of fruit.

Lunch

Its a smattering of different things but always includes some kind of fruit: either apples, oranges or something from the can; and a veggie: carrot sticks, frozen peas and carrots or corn. The main dish varies from sandwiches (PB & J for Kylie, Sunbutter and Jelly for Kaitlynn who is allergic to peanuts), to chicken nuggets, leftovers from dinner the night before, soup (if I serve soup, I don't usually include a veggie side)

Dinner

Also a variety of things. I get bored easily with food so I try to vary the kinds of foods I make. I posted about the soup I made the other night. On Kylie's birthday (this past Thursday), I made spaghetti. We had this with warm pears (29oz canned pears in their syrup throw into a 425 degree oven with a little cinnamon sprinkled on top) and my quick greens recipe (I used frozen green beans this time. Green beans cooked in chicken broth with garlic, 2 pieces of chopped fried bacon, garlic powder, onion powder, and garlic pepper. YUM!) The price of this dinner?

Spaghetti
Sauce: $1.00 (purchased on sale)
Noodles: $.88 (purchased in bulk at Sam's Club)
1/2 lb ground beef: $1.50
1/2 chopped onion: $.02 (a 3 lb bag bought on sale for $1.00 6 onions in the bag)
1 tsp minced garlic: $.02 (1 jar of minced garlic bought for $1.00, 48 tsp in a jar)

Pears
29oz can of pears: $1.00 (purchased on sale last week)
Cinnamon: ? (I really couldn't tell you how much cinnamon I used so I can't really determine a price but I just sprinkled a little on top and the jar of cinnamon cost me about $1.25 at Walmart)

Green Beans
16oz frozen Green Beans: $1.00 (purchased on sale)
1 tsp minced garlic: $.02
1 can chicken broth: $.39
2 pieces of bacon: $0.16 (purchased on sale for $1.77, 21 pieces in a packages)
Spices: again, I don't know the quantities I used so I can't tell you exactly how much they cost.

Total price for dinner approximately: $5.99 or $1.50 per person, a lot less if you include that we had a lot of leftovers. It probably ended up factoring to more like $.75 a person just because we had 1/2 of everything leftover after we were done eating. We had enough food leftover for the girls to have it again for dinner on Friday and for Jeff to take the majority of it to work with him for lunch the next day.


So okay, typical long winded Kristi. My point is that $1.00 a day in our economic climate is extreme. Most people around the world live on $1.00 a day because they grow or gather their own foods, raise their own animals for meat or hunt for it. So meat costs them nothing to very little and the same goes for vegetables and fruits. It takes time and not much money but you are subject to low food supplies during times of extreme weather. I think in a truer $1.00 a day experiment, they should have grown some of their own foods. They would have been able to eat well while maintaining their budget. It would be interesting if they did this again but planned on starting a garden in spring. I wonder what their food intake would look like then.

When You Give a Dork a Leapster

So Kylie's birthday was Thursday and she got a brand new shiny pink Leapster (from my Dad) and some games.

When you give a dork a Leapster, this is what you find on Saturday morning when you get up...



Yes Virginia she is sitting in a Rubbermaid bin...



Then this is what happens when you give another dork some empty toilet paper rolls.



Yes, my children are very strange. But at least Kylie is enjoying her birthday present. She just will not put that Leapster down.

What Could Giving Look Like?

"Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. As it is written:

'He has scattered abroad his gifts to the poor; his righteousness endures forever'"

2 Corinthians 9: 6-9 (NIV)

I have been thinking a lot about the topic of giving lately. Christmas time is called the season of giving because it is at this time of year that God gave us his son. What bigger gift could anyone receive than the gift of salvation but, what does giving look like today, right now in this economic climate?

The Salvation Army is reporting that they aren't receiving as many donations this year. People everywhere are looking for help because of job loss and other financial hardships. But this is the time no matter what our financial circumstances that we really need to be out there helping those in need.

I am not financially secure by any means. Jeff comes home the other day and tells me that his temp job is about to end. My hours at work have been cut drastically. This past month I have made half of what I normally make. But I give. I give what I can, when I can. It may not be much, but it's something. And this got me thinking, if everyone gave "just a little something", what would that look like?

If everyone in the state of Colorado (over the age of 18) gave a dollar to the Salvation Army, they would collect $3,592,037 during the holiday season. Can you believe that? If everyone in this country over the age of 18 gave a dollar to the Salvation Army, they would collect $225,084,715!!! Really what is a dollar? What do you waste a dollar on? I personally am guilty of wasting a dollar on Sausage Biscuit and Egg sandwiches at Burger King, coffee at 7-11, and buying things that clutter my home at the dollar store.

With the need so great this year, if everyone just in Colorado Springs (over the age of 18), donated a dollar to Care and Share Food Bank it would total $292,889. How many hungry people would that feed?

I don't presume to know anyone's situation. But the fact is that even if you and everyone around you gave just a small amount, it adds up. If 6 people got together and each gave $5.00, that would total $30.00 which is what a Christmas food basket costs from either Angel Food Ministries or Share Colorado. Those 6 people, with their limited funds could provide a nice dinner for a family in need.

The economic situation has me reconsidering what I spend my money on. Yes, money is tight here as it is for many people but you shouldn't be reconsidering your giving. Maybe you can't give as much as you did last year but I'm sure that even if you can't contribute financially, you can certainly give that sweater in your closet that hasn't fit in 2 years or those canned goods that you bought 6 months ago that you still haven't eaten. There is always something that you can do even if you can't give monetarily. Give your time. There are so many people who are alone this time of year, especially Seniors that just maybe want a friend. Give what you can give to others but most importantly do so cheerfully. Give from your heart and not because you feel obligated to. But I can tell you something, once you start giving its going to make you feel so good that you aren't going to want to stop.

**I found all the population statistics on www.census.gov

Eating Well on a VERY Tight Budget

You know yesterday I had the realization that I have been eating like total and utter crap lately. My tummy is bulging, I'm tired, I'm short of breath and I look pregnant (fortunately for me, when I gain weight its all in my tummy area).

So I started to think about how I could start eating better but still maintain my budget. Jeff certainly won't eat well. He doesn't like "rabbit" food. And with a $60.00 a week budget for 4 people, I have to buy the cheap cuts of everything to make the money stretch.

Well tonight, I made a great soup. I mean a GREAT soup. Totally from scratch. And it is good for me too! Chicken Tortilla soup. Well a variation of it using what I had on hand. I haven't gone grocery shopping since the Sunday after Thanksgiving so I'm trying to make whatever we have stretch until I get a chance to go again.

Also, I wanted to have some tortilla with the soup but I used the last of my tortillas Saturday to make the girls some chimichangas for lunch. So I made some. Yep, made some from scratch. To top it all off, I have some "baked" oatmeal going in the crock pot for tomorrow morning. If I have breakfast on hand, then I won't be tempted to stop at Burger King and take advantage of their dollar breakfast menu tomorrow.

I don't know why I'm so proud. Many people make their meals from scratch everyday. Its just not done so much in the Western world I guess. We can go to the store and buy soup in a can and tortillas in a plastic bag. But there is just something satisfying about making something yourself from scratch.

Now I'm tired. But its a good tired. I cleaned my kitchen, made a great dinner and I still have some oomph left to make a pumpkin pie tonight and some rice krispies treats. Jeff needs snacks for work or he will buy some.

Oh and sorry for the pic. I'm no Pioneer Woman when it comes to picture taking.

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Oh my. I just had to update. I just put away the "baked" oatmeal and of course I had to taste it to make sure that it wasn't poisoned. :) It was SOOOO yummy! This recipe is a MUST TRY! Its so easy and its definitely something that you can eat on the go in the car. When you break it into portions some of it crumbles and you can use that over yogurt. Oh my. Its so good! I know that tomorrow morning my girls are just going to love it.

Its easier for me to just feed them in the car when we drive up to drop Jeff off at work. It makes my morning less harried.

Oh and this recipe is cheap cheap cheap. I already had everything I needed in the fridge or pantry. Yep, I keep flax meal on hand. You mix it all in the crock pot and then forget about it for 4 hours. Mine took 4 hours though the recipe says 3-5. I would recommend though letting it cool completely before you break it off into portions so it stays together more and doesn't crumble as much.. I was to excited to wait. It would have been a good idea to put the entire crock insert into the fridge and just break it into portions tomorrow morning. But I was impatient. Oh well, it still tastes yummy.

Crappy Start Great Finish

Okay so this week started on not so high of a note but, I have to say that it ended well.

So I was in church today like I am every Sunday and I had a revelation. I know that Circle Drive Baptist is the place for me to be. I don't really consider myself a baptist more just a general christian but, when I walk into the sanctuary, I feel...happy.

No matter how badly my day starts off, going to church makes me feel happy. I'm thinking now and I don't really know if any other church has truly made me feel happy when I walk through the door. Inspired, convicted, appreciative, guilty (yep, I have been to those kind of churches) maybe but not really happy. I had a though morning today. I just couldn't drag myself out of bed, Kylie was a bundle of energy and questions the minute I set my tired feet on the ground. That is just not cool when you are A. tired and B. have not yet had a cup of coffee. Kaitlynn was fussy. Kylie was argumentative. My face turned red and the thought of locking them both in the basement until Christmas crossed my mind. But then I realized the Christmas presents were down there. I frantically made breakfast, showered, got dressed and ran out the door at 10:48 (keep in mind that church starts at 11 and it usually takes me 20 minutes to get there). So it was a harried morning to say the least. But, when I dropped Kylie off at children's church, I see smiling faces. When I walk up the stairs to the sanctuary, I see smiling faces and people telling me "Good Morning". I walk into the sanctuary, and I see the beautifully decorated Living Christmas tree and I just felt, happy.

No matter what is going on in my life, financial difficulty, marital difficulty, feelings of loneliness and wanting to run away from it all, when I get to church it all seems to go away and I can truly focus on what should always be first in my life...God. I think that for me, God tends to get lost sometimes in the trials of the week. That should not happen I know. I should be God-minded all the time. But in the reality of this world that is hard. But, I am working on it. I realized this morning that when I am God-minded, no matter what my circumstances, I am truly happy. So that's why, being at church makes me truly happy. I can focus on what is really important. Focus on God and He will take care of the rest.

So speaking of The Living Christmas tree. I hear its a great time and if anyone wants to go, I picked up extra tickets today. Just let me know!

McCrafty Strikes again!

I made another dress. This is Kaitlynn's Christmas dress! I am so proud of myself. This one came out much better than Kylie's only because the first time I make something it usually doesn't come out all that great. You learn from your mistakes right? I am so loving this one. This cranberry red color is one of my favorites and it seems so festive, don't you think?

This time, I got to make the dress pretty much in piece. Kylie was in the corner and Kaitlynn was napping. Lets just say, it was one of those days for Kylie. I think she may have waxy build up again because she just can't seem to do as shes told. Which started this morning. But oh well, at least her confinement to the corner meant that I could make the dress and really concentrate on it and not hear every 5 minutes, "Mommy, what are you doing?" "Mommy are you making something?" "Mommy can I stand here and watch you?" "But I just want to be with you!!!" "Mommy can I have some eggnog?" "Mommy I need a snack" yep, I could go on and on but I shall spare you. Just imagine someone saying one of these things or several at a time to you every 5 minutes. And she wonders why I lose patience with her.

Catharsis

Crafting is so cathartic for me. Especially when it comes to sewing and crocheting. They are both so exact. They both require my complete focus and concentration. They both allow me to have a creative outlet that I so desperately need when times are rough. And both hobbies are fairly cheap. Great when you are on a tight budget (This entire dress cost me well under $5.00). Plus they both offer a sense of accomplishment. When I am feeling like I keep treading water and I'm not going anywhere crafting helps me feel like I'm actually productive. That I'm actually finishing something and it looks great.

This is my very first pillow case dress. I made it for Kylie's birthday. She wanted a special dress to wear for her birthday and not having much money, I decided to make her one. I found some great instructions online and a very nice person forwarded me the pattern for the arm holes and I plodded ahead. I think it turned out pretty well. I am very proud of myself. Kylie picked out the fabric and I created it. I can't stop looking at the dress and let me tell you when I put it on her, she just glowed. I'm also in the process of creating them sister Christmas dresses with the same pattern. I have a great plain red fabric for the top and the bottom is going to be this blue background bell pattern with the word "joy" all over it. Its going to be great! I can't wait to finish them.

Don't worry I did get them turtle necks to go under their dresses. Its winter for crying out loud you know! ;)

It's Just Crap-Tastic

So, it's 723am and I have already had a crappy morning. No not because of my children...

This morning I set my alarm to 530am. Not because I needed to wake up that early but because I wanted to make sure that Jeff got to work on time today. The last 2 weeks I have found that if I don't set my alarm to get up early, Jeff will not get up. Lately, it has been my responsibility (it feels like) to make sure that he gets up for work. Why? He's 29 years old, he should be able to get himself up for work right? Nope. Even while he was in the military I would still have to get up early to make sure that he would get up for work.

He's supposed to be at work by 7am. So he needs to leave the house by 630am to make it to work on time. Preferably he should leave at 615am because of morning traffic but that rarely happens. So, I get up not at 530am but at 5am because he set his alarm to go off at 5am. And every time the alarm goes off, I shake him. He grunts, hits snooze and goes back to sleep. The alarm goes off every 15 minutes. Finally after an hour and a half of the stupid alarm going off (I'm not kidding, I rolled out of bed at 630am), I get up. Everytime I shake him to wake him up he tells me, "Don't worry about it." or "It's not a big deal". So, trying to calm myself down I walk out to the living room to check my email, which of course would not load this morning. At 645am I walk back into the bedroom (he's supposed to be at work in 15 minutes) and I ask him, "So what time do you want to get up so I can make sure that I wake you up". At this point he starts to go off about how he doesn't want to get up because I'm going to be in a "grouchy ass" mood. I didn't even ask him the question in a snide way. I just point blank asked him what time he wanted to get up and that started us off on an agrument this morning. He went off on a tirade about how I'm a "bitch" and I'm always "tired". I told him that I didn't have to get up at 530am I just set my alarm to make sure that I could get him up. And it went on and on. Until I threw a loaf of bread at him and he slammed the door this morning before he left for work, finally, at 720am.

But this is the way things have been between us lately. When things are good they are just all right. When things are bad they are REALLY bad. I try to avoid arguments by just sitting in my bedroom when we are home together. I try not to talk to him about what is bothering me because he always turns it around on me and makes me feel ridiculous and stupid for feeling neglected, offended, hurt or upset. I try just to leave him alone. If I leave him alone, we don't fight and things stay relatively peaceful...sometimes. He will still get on me about not spending time with the kids. I ALWAYS spend time with the kids. I take Kaitlynn to work with me for crying out loud. Everywhere I go tote one or both of the kids with me. Just cause I don't want them up my rear when I'm at home and trying to get stuff done doesn't mean that I am not spending time with them. Or, he will get on me about not cleaning the house. Granted, I have absolutely no motivation to clean. But no one in this house seems to either. The minute I clean the wrecking crew follows behind me to destroy it. Who is that guy in greek mythology that rolls the boulder up the hill everyday just to do it again the next day. Thats the way I feel about cleaning. I accomplish it, but nothing really gets done.

I need a vacation. I need to get away and decompress for a while, by myself. I can't remember the last time I was truly able to get away to relax. I think the last time I got away for myself and just myself to pamper me was spa night last November. And even then I wasn't really able to relax because Jeff had just gotten home from Iraq and was calling me every 15 minutes asking me when I was coming home. Not because he missed me but because Kaitlynn and Kylie were driving him nuts. But I also don't want to get away because with the state that things have been in lately, I may never come back.

I get so tired of my life sometimes. I am not happy. I have not been happy for a long time and I don't know how to change it. My marriage is miserable and I take it out on the kids by ignoring them or yelling at them when they do the slightest thing wrong. I really want my marriage to work. I want to be able to fix it. We have two children and have been together for 8 years. I want it to work but sometimes we try to hold on to something that God is trying to seperate us from. (One of my favorite lines from "Diary of a Mad Black Woman"). But I pray and I don't know what Gods will is for me and this situation. Maybe I am so focused on what is going on around me that I can't hear what God is trying to tell me.

So why am I blogging about this? Well because other than God, I have no one to talk to and blogging can be very cathardic. I feel lost right now and very much alone. I know that God is always here, listening. But sometimes you just want someone else with you. A good friend that you can trust. Someone physical that you know will make you laugh or give you good advice when times are tough. I'm sorry to say that I don't really have that right now. I haven't had that for a while now, not since one of my friends moved to the DC area.

I just want to effect a positive change in my life but right now I just don't know how to do that. I am tired of feeling alone and lost. I am sick of not feeling loved. I am just tired and I want to go back to bed but, I have to make breakfast for my kids.

Black Friday Reflections

Okay so do you see a theme happening here? I'm reflecting today

Okay so before I start this, lets get a couple of things out of the way...

Yes, I am a bargain shopping fiend and I start planning my Black Friday shopping on the Monday of that week (that's when the Walmart sales ad comes out)

Yes, I am the crazy lady who is at Walmart at 430am stocking my cart before the sale technically starts.

Yes, I am a type A personality and I made an extensive excel spreadsheet with stores, prices, who it's from and who the presents are for. See my example below. Yes, I am THAT crazy.

Yes, I am the person who stands in the long line outside of Target waiting for them to open.

Yep, that's me. Okay I feel so much better now that I got that off my chest. Now, I can truly start reflecting on my shopping frenzy today.

I love Black Friday. Black Friday is not a day for browsing and people in the stores that are browsing during the sales just get on my nerves. But that's me. Black Friday shopping is truly a sport and not to be undertaken if you aren't serious about finding the bargains and ready to stand in long lines. I stood in line for an hour and a half today at Toys R Us. Crazy? Yep. But it's Black Friday and I was prepared to stand in line.

But, today was the craziest Black Friday I have ever seen. Walmart this morning was true insanity. I have never seen that many people there that early. I usually get there at 430 in the morning. Yep, the only day of the year that I can get up that early. The last 5 Black Fridays, when I got there at 430 in the morning there really weren't too many people there. I can usually park fairly close to the door. Today, the parking lot was packed! I had to park pretty far away from the door. It was insane. As I drove to Walmart, there were just a few cars on the road. Typical for early morning. There weren't too many lights on other than street lights but when I pulled into the parking lot at Walmart, it was aglow with headlights. When I walked into the store, there were already people in line waiting to check out. I was in total shock.

One lady I spoke with attributed the mass of people to more people living in the Fountain area. To be honest, there aren't that many more people living in Fountain this year than there were last year. But, I think that its a testament to the hard hit economy. People who wouldn't normally dream of being out that early on Black Friday packed the stores. I can't tell you how many times I heard people say today that this was their first Black Friday experience and they couldn't believe how crowded it was. There were displays in Walmart that were totally decimated because of the throngs of people who descended upon them. The $4.00 PJ section was completely torn apart.

To be honest, the sales weren't that different than what they offered last year. But yet people were there in droves this morning. Before the sun was up, some folks (like myself) had already been shopping for hours. People are trying to make their dollar stretch much further this year. Websites about budget minded shopping and dinners, money saving tips, etc are extremely popular this year as people try to weather this financial storm. Most are trying to change their mindsets about spending and become more budget conscious. But this is the time of year when credit card balances start to rise.

As, I had a lot of time to think today while I stood in line for one and half hours at Toys R Us. My mind drifted a lot (because I hadn't had my coffee yet) about how people were paying for all their bargain treasures. People who were buying 3 HDTVs, 4 Digital photo frames and 5 iPods were definitely not paying cash for their items. But were they charging up their credit cards to pay for all the luxuries? I didn't see anyone pay for their items today with cash. Not that there weren't those that did (I did! I did!) but I didn't see any. In Toys R Us, I saw a lot of people that kept adding to their shopping carts as the line for the registers snaked through the store. Were people really just spending without care today? I don't know. Just cause I'm anal retentive about my shopping list doesn't mean everyone else is. What I do know is that I came in well under my budget for Christmas presents and I got a lot of stuff.

I save all year long so that I have money to spend for Christmas. Something I started doing when Kylie was a baby. Her birthday is December 11th and it's hard to get doubly hit at the end of the year. So I save. Cash allows me to have a limited budget. If I felt free to just spend and spend on a credit card, my house would be more overrun with stuff than it is right now. On top of the money I saved. My Dad and Gramma also sent money for the girls. So I divided everything equally between everyone and I am happy to say that both Kylie and Kaitlynn will have some really nice things to open on Christmas morning. Today I probably spent a total of $400. That is presents for Kylie's birthday and Christmas presents for Kylie, Kaitlynn and Jeff and stocking stuffers for those 3 as well. So not too shabby I think. I even wrapped Jeff's presents already. I had to. He will try to find them if I didn't. I figured the best way to keep them a surprise until Christmas was to wrap them.

Normally, I will spend everything I have saved for the holidays but this year I was savvy and really controlled myself. I had to remind myself that my kids don't need every new thing. I tried to stick to things that I know they will love and play with. Last year I just got them things to get them things. So they would have something to open. I didn't want to do that this year. I know that they will be happy with everything I got them and I'm not just wondering if they will like it or not.

I think that in a way, the financial crunch is a good thing. Yes, it sucks to have to scale back a lot but in a way, I think our culture was too "me minded". We were too stuck into thinking that we need the latest coolest thing. We don't. I think the economic upheaval is helping people to realize that they need to think about what they truly need and not just what they want. But, I also think that no matter what, Christmas for some will always be a spending spree no matter what the economy looks like.

Okay so please forgive me if I rambled. I know that I did. I'm tired. I have been up since 4 after all and I was up practically all night. Kaitlynn had a rough night last night. Shes a kid, it happens. But why it had to happen on Black Friday? I'll never know I'm sure. Crazy lady is going to bed now. ;)

Thanksgiving Reflections

With the whirlwind that was yesterday and the shopping frenzy that was today, I haven't really had a chance to sit and think about the last two days. But now that the girls are in bed, I have some liberty sit and think.

Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving to me is more than just "Pilgrims" and "Indians". It's an opportunity to reflect on what blessings you have received throughout the year. With the turmoil of this past year, it's hard for me to immediately think about things that I am thankful for. But even with all the emotional upheaval and the familial upset, there are things (rather big things) that I can be thankful for.

I am thankful that Jeff finally got a job after months and months of looking.

I am thankful that Jeff has been home for an entire year. I don't think that has happened since we moved here to Colorado in 2002.

I am thankful that Jeff has gotten to know his daughters better this past year. He's really starting to learn about them and all their quirks.

I am thankful that even though we had some financial hardship this past year, we still have our home. It was touch and go for a while. It was hard to find the money to keep up the payments but God has shown me that I need to humble myself in times of need and ask for help. Thank God for my father who stepped up to help us with the payments.

I am thankful that I had enough money saved to create what I hope to be a great Christmas for the girls. I even have some money left over! I didn't blow my shopping budget this year and both girls will still have plenty to open. I even managed to get Jeff some nice things and I wrapped them already so he can't peek!

I am thankful for my full belly. Even with limited funds we still had a FULL thanksgiving dinner with all the trimmings. Not everyone is so lucky.

I am thankful that my heat works. Our heater stopped working last year after we had a gas leak. I was worried that we would have to call someone to repair it (and we didn't have the funds to pay for that after having to replace our transmission in our ONLY vehicle). By the grace of God when we went to turn on the central heat, IT WORKED!!! Thank you Jesus! We have been toasty and warm at 65 degrees ever since. I keep it at 65, I'm cheap after all!

I am thankful that Kylie is in school. When I first tried to register her, I was told that everything was full. That we would be put on the waiting list. I still have yet to hear from district 8 but, two weeks after I put in our application for Head Start we were accepted! So shes in school and its free plus they feed her lunch. It's been such a blessing!

I am thankful for my Dad. He and I have had a rocky road. We haven't had the best relationship but God spoke to my heart and humbled me. My Dad and I have been working on our relationship for a while. Its not perfect and I don't think it ever will be but at least we are working on it. He has really stepped up to help us in times of need. It's been a true blessing to have him in our lives again.

I am thankful for my two punks. Yes, they drive me nut. Yes, they are a handful. Yes, they fight with each other all the time. But I love them. They provide an endless source of entertainment and frustration. But they are mine and hey, I can't kick them out until they are 18. :)

I am thankful for my job. Lindsey is great with her flexibility. Though at times it can be demanding. But, how many jobs will let you bring your child with you when you aren't able to afford childcare? I have truly been blessed by this job.

I am thankful for coffee. My life blood! Oh how I love you my Columbia Roast.

and finally...

I am thankful for my God. Without Him, I think I would be in the nut house. He made it possible for me to survive three deployments with my sanity intact. He has made it possible that we were able to never really lack anything during our time of financial hardship. He is my provider. He is my strength. He is my comfort. He is my defender. He is my faithful friend.

In truth I could probably go on and on about what I am thankful for. When you are in a thanksgiving frame of mind, it's hard to stop thinking about all the ways you have been blessed in the last year. It's easy to start thinking of things, no matter how small they are. A blessing doesn't have to be big in order for it to be important. All blessings are important and I think recognizing those small blessings are more important than recognizing the big ones. The big ones are the obvious blessings and are usually few compared to all the little blessings that happen everyday. I think that the real secret to being happy is to see, recognize and be thankful for all the little blessings that happen everyday. To truly see the glass half full and realize that no matter how bad things are right now, there are still things to be grateful for. Focusing on the blessings and not the curses is what gets you through the day. Hey, that was deep. I should write that on my mirror too. Feel free to quote me. I'm not that deep that often. :)

I hope that everyone had a wonderful, happy and blessed Thanksgiving and that you got to experience the fabulous turkey coma!

Now is the Winter of Our Discontent

Wow its been a while since I blogged huh. Betcha thought I forgot about my blog again. I didn't. I have just been really tired. Abnormally tired and I've been having some joint pain in my hands and pain in my feet and back. The hypochondriac in me thinks I have lupus. The rational person in me says that I need to get more sleep, eat better, take my vitamins and start exercising. Oh and knock off all the coffee. I personally believe that a lot of our ailments can be solved by diet. Not everything of course, but a lot of things can. If we don't take care of ourselves and that includes eating well, our body's don't function right. If you eat crap, you feel like crap. And well...I've been eating a lot of crap lately to include at least 3 (yep 3) cups of coffee a day. So what does all this have to do with the "winter of my discontent"? Not a whole heck of a lot but I just thought I would share.

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Dr Mike continued his financial series today. Today's topic was contentment. How to find contentment. To seek our contentment in not what our circumstances are but by finding divine joy in God. In other words not letting your circumstances determine your outlook. But by seeking contentment in what you have by focusing on the good things of God.

Why does every sermon convict me so?

This really got me thinking today about my own personal contentment. I am not content. I have not been for a while. But why am I not content? I am dissatisfied with my marriage. I have too much clutter choking the daylights out of me. I have two children who though they love me and I love them drive me insane. I am homesick and I am tired of struggling financially. If you were any ordinary person and just saw things in the natural, you probably wouldn't be too content either. But I don't want to be an ordinary person. I want to be a person that can be identified as a Christian from a mile away. I want to have Gods divine joy and contentment. I want to have that quiet strength that you see in true Christians. I want those around me to be affected by the spirit of God through me. But by being so dissatisfied and stressed out all the time, I'm not modeling that to the world. The bible says that you shall know a tree by its fruit and well, my fruit hasn't been juicy and ripe for some time.

But I think that I become so overwhelmed with the day to day that I forget to look at things in the spirit. I forget to try to see things through Gods eyes. Yes my children irritate me but I have children. Yes my house is cluttered but I have a house. Yes I'm homesick but there are many out there who don't have families to go home to. Yes we struggle with finances but we have enough food in our home when others don't. There is always good in a situation. Though we maybe so overwhelmed with the bad that we don't see it.

Being content is not something that's easy but it's something that I need to strive for. It's something I need to work on. One thing that I do have control over is all the clutter in my home. If I can get ride of say 75% of it and live with less stuff then I do believe that I can truly be happier and more relaxed. Chaos is a deal breaker for me. I don't like chaos but my home seems to be filled with it. I know that I can be happy with less. I know my girls can be happy with less. Now, Jeff I don't know if he can be happy with less. He seems to always want more. He keeps talking about buying an LCD TV and the kind of car he wants to have oh and don't forget he "needs" The Wrath of the Lich King (which is sold out everywhere). I don't really think about stuff like that right now. We are managing with what we have and we would manage with 50% less.

I need to get started with the first step to my contentment. Decluttering my home! I pray that God gives me the energy to tackle such a monumental feet. The clutter is overwhelming and that's why I haven't even attempted it until now. But Kylie's birthday is 3 weeks away and Christmas is just around the corner. Things need to get out of my house before I'm drowning in even more clutter than before!

God's Grace and Peace (Quote for Today)

So I'm sure that it comes to no surprise to anyone who knows me that I subscribe to the daily devotional email from Joel Osteen Ministries.

Well this morning was hectic to say the least. Just like any other morning in my house. I get up and I try to get up before the girls so I can have time to have my coffee and wake up. So I can center myself through prayer for the day ahead. I'm always a much nicer and more focused person when I get that morning time to myself. But it seem no matter how early I get up, I can NEVER have that morning time to myself. It seems right as I'm making my pot of coffee, Kylie wakes up and starts pestering me. "I'm hungry." "I'm thirsty." "My sister is awake." "When is breakfast?" "What are you making for breakfast." "Ma-a-am, I said sissy is awake, are you going to come and get her?" Are you as tired as I was yet?

Well that's my morning, every morning. Would probably make the sanest person snap after telling your daughter to go back to her room for the upteeth time. "Please Kylie go back to your room, I will call you when breakfast is ready." "Kylie when I said, 'Go back to your room', I didn't mean for you to sit at the door and continue to ask me questions" "Kylie just sit on your bed and be quiet." "Kylie go back to your room, you can feed the cat later." "Kylie! Kylie! Kylie!"

Oh then it gets better. I have finally had my coffee and made breakfast. I laid it out on the table and went to "rescue" the girls from their room. I send Kylie to go and eat and I proceed to change Kaitlynn. Well she did what all lovely children in diapers do first thing in the morning. She pooped! And, boy did she poop (thank God for cloth diapers, this one would have been a disaster in disposables). Well as I'm changing her she proceeds to sway her poopy butt back and forth. I tell her to stop and she smiles at me and continues until her butt makes contact with my shirt. Poop smeared into my favorite shirt. Ai Yah! This was just the "icing" on the cake for me this morning (yeah I went there)! Oh man, just what I needed right!

So after rinsing off myself, Kaitlynn's diaper and changing my shirt, I sat down to FINALLY eat my now cold breakfast. Why is it that I never get to eat hot food? Hmmmm. Anyhow, I open up my email and there is my daily devotional from Joel Osteen Ministries and this is what it said...

May God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ give you grace and peace

2 Thessalonians 1:2, NLT

This is the same verse in NIV

Grace and peace to you from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

If you keep reading, it gets even better...

We ought always to thank God for you, brothers, and rightly so, because your faith is growing more and more, and the love every one of you has for each other is increasing. Therefore, among God’s churches we boast about your perseverance and faith in all the persecutions and trials you are enduring.

2 Thessalonians 1:3-4 NIV

Wow, exactly what I needed to hear this morning. Grace and Peace. Yes Lord, I need Your divine grace and peace this morning. Lord, I know I have a quick temper and I repent for that. My children are just children and they need me to be a good example for them. Please envelope me in Your divine grace and peace today so that I can become a godly example for them. An example of Your peace and love in their lives.

Amen.

Boy, do I feel better!

Now if I could just find the motivation I need to clean the never ending mess in this house, all will be right with the world. I will never understand how children can be such tornadoes.

Saving Money.

So today in church, Dr Mike continued his finance series.

It got me really thinking about where we can scale back in our finances.

Right now with things being so tight, I don't think there is a way that we can scale back any more than we already have. But what have I done to scale back? Well its not much different than what we had been doing before.

"Buy used and save the difference"

I just love a bargain and when my girls are in need of something or I am in need of something, I have no problem getting something used. Goodwill is my favorite store for this kind of stuff. But lately, I have been finding the quality of the things I find, not as good as it was just a couple of months ago. I did recently buy myself a pair of shoes at Goodwill though. I told myself I would never buy a pair of used shoes. Feet just gross me out! But, you know what? The shoes I bought were only $1.99 and they were comfy and in great condition. You can't beat that right?

Craigslist and rummage sales are my other passion. My dad recently sent a check for the girls for Christmas and I found a screaming deal on a "Rose Petal Cottage". If you know what this thing is, you know that its EXPENSIVE! Well I got a slammin' deal on this thing. It looks brand new and the lady I bought it from threw in the stove, nursery set and extra play food, a baby doll and a baby blanket all for $75!!! Awesome right? If you priced this thing out new, you couldn't purchase just the cottage for that. The cottage itself is $90.00 plus the nursery set is $40... you get the idea. I saved a boat load on it! I love to save money!

Coupons, Coupons, Coupons. Sales, Sales, Sales.

I had gotten out of couponing for a while because you usually only find coupons for brand name items. I find it cheaper most of the time to just buy the store brand. However, when you combine a coupon with a sale, you get a very happy Kristi.

I love to shop the sales. I try not to pay full price for anything and with a strict weekly grocery budget of $60, I really have to make my money stretch as far as possible. I will go through the weekly sale fliers and make my list and calculate exactly how much I think it's going to cost me. I will also spend time on my calculator at the store to make sure that I am staying within my budget.

So how do I manage to only spend $60.00 a week? Well not only do I utilize the sales but I pay attention to what is on sale. I find that one week there will be a screaming deal on meat and I'll stock up for as much as my $60.00 can handle. Then the next week, maybe there will be screaming deals on produce and canned goods. Again, I will stock up.

I cook almost everyday now. When I don't cook we are usually getting the sale "meal" that week. Safeway usually will have a $5.00 special on Fridays. I'll pick up the $5.00 main dish and combine that with what I have in my pantry and fridge. To me that $5.00 is worth a cooking break for me. Even if I manage to "cook big" (aka a lot of food) my hungry husband will usually polish off whatever I make. There are normally no leftovers so leftover nights are just not options for us.

I have also learned to get really creative with dinner. Some of our favorite budget dinners are Tater Tot Casserole, Chili Topped Baked Potatoes, Chicken Adobo, Baked Pork Chops, Korean BBQ Chicken and Filipino Menudo. YUM! Easy budget friendly and delicious.

Driving Less

So even though gas prices are plummeting as fast as the stock market, we are still in the mindset of not traveling too much. We are paying half as much now as we were when gas prices were high but, there are other areas of our finances that the extra money could go to. So we still don't driving around all over the place, we just go where we need to and try to plan on doing errands along the way. Plus, when two working people share one car, its really easy not to go "gallivanting" all over the place as my Gramma would say.

Plus there are so many other ways we are scaling back.

We go to the beauty school to get haircuts. The other day Jeff, Kylie and I all got haircuts and shampoos for $25.00. You cant beat that. Most places just to do my hair it would cost $25.00.

Making my own cleaning products and scaling back on the rest. I love making my own cleaning products. I can't stand the artificial smell so making my own cleaner for literally pennies is great! I have been using that Arm and Hammer Essentials recently but that's because I got a FULL SIZED sample at Walmart last month. I love it but once it's gone back to making my own cleaners I go. I also just came across a recipe for laundry detergent that I am itching to try once the laundry detergent that I currently have runs out.

Cloth Diapers! I love my cloth diapers. I just washed a load today. Unlike some of my friends, my main motivation behind cloth diapering was not to save the environment. I mean that's a huge bonus, but I like not having to buy diapers every month. I like not having to budget for that. Its great! Plus even though I bought pretty much all of my diapers new, its still going to save me hundreds of dollars over the long haul. I am completely stocked with diapers until Kaitlynn is potty trained. Plus the colors are so pretty. I love my FuzziBunz!

Yes, we still have luxuries like cable but, we don't ever go out. We don't go out to see movies, we don't buy DVDs anymore. I feel like we but back everywhere else, that we deserve to have a little luxury in our lives like cable. That's what I think, and I'm sticking to it.

What I do find is that its really easy for me to stay on track with budget, but not so much for Jeff. He admitted to me the other day that he doesn't really pay attention to how much hes spending and that's a huge no no when it comes to trying to stay on budget. I'm the type of person where I'm adding up in my head how much I spent and how much is left in my budget. Jeff is very free with his money and that's why he ends up putting us in the red. He says hes going to work on that. I pray that he does.

The Gift of Giving (Bible Quote of the Day)

Okay so I realize that its late in the day to have a quote for today. I am also VERY tired, it's been a long day so please excuse me if I ramble and make no sense. :)

...so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.

Romans 12:5-8

Basically what this says to me is that we all need to take care of each other. But not just take care of each other, but take care of each other according to our spiritual gifts.

I think what frustrates me the most about finances is that I do believe I have the gift of serving. I have a servants heart, meaning I like to help people. I get so frustrated because my desire is to help financially for some. I see such a need in some people that I want to reach out and make it all better. But, I cant help financially.

So my last passage got me thinking. How can I still serve without financial giving? Well the first way I am serving is through my Military Blog. I am trying to create a resource for people to go to. I was a spouse of a deployed solider. I know how hard it can be. I have a heart for our military because I was in that situation. People can empathize but until you are a military wife you never really, truly understand.

The second way I have decided that I am going to serve is by making hats for the Thanksgiving feast. Well what do hats have to do with a Thanksgiving meal? Well my church is also giving out winter coats and hats to those who need them. I know for sure that I cannot go out and buy coats but I have a lot of yarn in the basement and a lot of scrap fleece just sitting around.

I'm also making pies for the Thanksgiving feast. That's definitely something I can do.

I guess the bottom line is, my last post was so desperate that it got me thinking. How can I truly give up my situation to God? Well the answer is, by not focusing on my situation. By focusing on others. Essentially not putting enough importance on what is going on with me but to put all the energy I would spend worrying on giving to people who have far less than I do.

We did do our shoe box after all. I dipped into our Christmas fund for it. I figure its worth it. It gets Kylie thinking about ways she can help others. She is so "me" centered. And well, shes 4. But I want to get her out of that mindset. I want to get her to stop focusing on what she wants (not needs) and to start realizing that she has a lot compared to many other people.

That's something I have to remember too. Yes, we may be financially strapped right now but we have a roof over our heads, we have nice clothes to wear, we have dirty dishes piled in the sink because we have food to eat. So yes the finances suck, but it could be worse. I am very blessed to have what I have. And I think focusing my efforts on what I can do to help others and not what I cant do or my current situation, I think that's the way I can truly give it all to him and completely surrender my circumstances. Give up control, I guess is another way to put it.

So again, preaching mostly to myself here.

I Need a Job Job Job

So we have been having a lot of financial stress lately. Ever since Jeff has left the Army, things are REALLY tight right now. And now, my hours at work have been scaled back.

I know that the economy sucks but we are already living so tight, I just don't know what to do.

I know what I should be doing is trusting God with my situation. Things aren't looking pretty right now and it's so hard to trust when things are at their dimmest. I just need to find a way to start generating more income. I have hesitated to do this until now because I am already so exhausted. I feel like everything falls on my shoulders when it comes to the home. I feel that if I don't do it, its not going to get done. Jeff does help sometimes with doing dishes but the bulk of the work is left to me. Couple that with parenting responsibilities, financial responsibilities (because I take care of all that too), and work, it just ends up being A LOT.

But right now are finances are pretty much in the red. All I can think of is resentment toward my husband right now. I keep thinking that had he filed his VA claim before he got out of the military, we wouldn't be in this situation right now. He STILL hasn't filed his VA claim.

Financial stress is especially hard this time of year. I love to give during this time of year. Whether it be food baskets or Operation Christmas Child or adopting a local family through my moms group. I love to be able to be a blessing, and it hurts me that I cant be as big a blessing this year as I would like to. I'm afraid that all I will probably be able to do this year is bake some pies for my church's Thanksgiving Feast. I am debating about doing operation Christmas child this year. I'll have to dip into my ever dwindling Christmas Fund for it. We have had to use some of the money I've saved up for Christmas to buy silly things like groceries.

Its like I said before, I'm a control freak. I want to be able to control my financial flow. They keep promising Jeff overtime at work and it never pans out. I pray everyday for God to open a door for us. Whatever that door may be. He knows my needs better than I do.

I have to trust in God. I know that. Maybe this is something that the Lord is trying to teach me. I can remember one day that I specifically told God that I would totally put Jeff's over time into His hands. And I meant it. I felt so good about it. I completely gave it over to God and later that day, Jeff calls me from work to tell me that they are going to give him overtime the next day. If that doesn't say something, I don't know what does. But it's really hard for me to completely give it over to God. I give it over to Him and then I'm okay and at peace with it and then something else comes up. I just feel that every time I feel great and get a leg up, something comes to try to smack me down. And most times, I let it. Most times I stand back like a helpless victim and let it throw me to the ground and stomp on me.

I know that I need to let it go. I keep telling myself that. I'm working on it but it is SO. DARN. HARD.

My Inspirational Verse for Today

So I'm going to attempt to post a new verse everyday. I was thinking about it yesterday and it dawned on me that the days I focus on the Lord and his word, are much better days. I think this was mostly a "duh" moment. I mean that should be obvious.

Well this is my verse for today:

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 NIV

If you are a believer, this is such an encouraging verse I have been having so many issues lately with the girls and just a lot of dissatisfaction in my own life. I feel lonely. I miss having friends to hang out with on a daily basis. I guess I mostly am missing human interaction. Jeff is not one for human interaction lately. Hes been drawing into himself a lot. And I guess I have been too. I have been spending a lot of time by myself in my bedroom. I have no motivation to be or do anything right now. I just am.

I think I get bogged down too much with the day to day. In fact I know I get bogged down to much with the day to day, and I personally think I may still have a mild depression going on, but with no medical care right now, hey whatcha gonna do right? Things are not roses and sunshine. But that falls back to what Dr. Mike says a lot, "Real Christians have Real Problems." Things do not become better instantaneously once you submit your life to Christ. But it's like what I said in older posts, it's not your situation, its your attitude about your situation. I am working on my attitude. I am trying to live my life one day at a time. I am trying to give my worries to God. I am trying to be joyful despite my circumstances but that is SO. DARN. HARD. It's hard to look past the seen and into the eternal here after. It's hard to have joy despite your circumstances and for a control freak like me it's hard to give everything to God and know not just hope, things will turn out okay. It's hard.

I have a desire in my heart to get involved in a prayer group again. I miss being apart of a small bible study and prayer group. I have a desire to seek out a Christian mentor. Not just any mentor but someone who walks the walk. Jesus said that you will know a tree by its fruit. Many of the Christians I have known, talked a good talk but didn't walk the walk.

But I know that if God puts a desire in your heart, its for a reason. So I'm going to work on being more spiritually minded. I'm going to work on looking past my natural circumstances and trusting that God will take care of my needs.

I'm working on it...

"Mommy, My Stomach Hurts"

So yesterday I talked about having to pick Kylie up from school because she was complaining about stomach pains. Well, today I found out why she was having those stomach pains.

I didn't have to work today. I was rudely awoken this morning to, "Mommy Kaitlynn is eating M&Ms and she has chocolate all over her".

Now this is before my morning cup of coffee so at first I didn't register what Kylie had just said. Then I started thinking about where Kaitlynn got the M&Ms from. All of the candy is up on top of the kitchen cabinets. No way did anyone climb up there to get it. So I ask Kylie where the candy came from. Kylie says "From under her pillow". Right there I knew it was a lie. We had just literally torn apart Kaitlynn's crib yesterday to lower her mattress another rung. So I knew there was absolutely NO candy under her pillow. I would have scene it.

I walk into the girl's room and first thing I see is a naked baby. Kylie decided that since Kaitlynn got chocolate on her PJs that she would strip her down. Lovely. So as I'm putting a diaper on Kaitlynn, I question Kylie about where the candy came from. She keeps insisting from under Kaitlynn's pillow. Yeah right. Well then I look her right in the eyes and say, "So, where's the candy YOU were eating this morning?"...

That's when Kylie's eyes went wide and she got that "Oh crap" look on her face. She looked at her feet and lifted up her pillow.

There under her pillow was a treasure trove of empty candy boxes and wrappers and an empty box of skittles gum. Yep gum. She thought they were regular skittles. I picked up the box and looked at her and asked her when she ate them. She told me, "Yesterday before you and Daddy got up". NICE!

Well, now I know why her stomach hurt. And now I know why she didn't want to eat her breakfast. She ate an ENTIRE box of gum. Hmmm....

So she stood in the corner this morning for probably over an hour. The rule in my house (for her) is that you have to be quiet for at least 5 minutes in the corner before you can be let out. Well she sat there and screamed. When she was done with that she stomped her feet. When she was done with that she told me that she was ready to listen. And when she was done with that she screamed some more. Again, all this before my morning cup of coffee.

Oh Calgon take me away.

I told her before she went to stand in the corner that she was going to stand there for lying and for sneaking candy. Oh that girl!

Shes going to be 5 soon. Isn't that the magical age where things are supposed to start getting better behavior wise?

If not, sign me up for an extended vacation back to Hawaii!